On Friday, affirmative-action educated bureaucrats at the
Commerce Department announced that GDP grew at a faster pace in the third quarter
than it has in years, buoyed by the enlightened policies of the Potty-Mouth in
the Oval Office, who “you dumbass honkey m%th4rf&ck#rson needs to vote for
bad”, this at the end of another week when hedge fund managers continued to
trash stock prices and generate scary spin in a relentless attack designed to show the electorate how
easily short-sellers can take world financial markets down once again if
their Swiss bank account guy isn’t swept into office.
“Face it”, a hedge fund industry spokesperson explained from
his 973 foot yacht off the shimmering coast of Majorca, “we’re so much smarter
than anybody else we make godzillions by sticking you pathetic suckers with our
toxic assets and transmogrifying all your silly little jobs overseas, so it’s
just ridiculous that we have to pay any taxes at all. I bet you morons don’t even know what
transmogrify means either.’’
We’re still leaning toward whatshisname, that Libertarian
type who promises he’ll be taking votes away from both of them.
