Frankenstorm Sandy

          We guess this is what flooding is, but photos that reached our Mac way before dawn this morning made it seem more like whole sections of New York City had simply turned into sea bottom.  Outside the New York Stock Exchange, a number of blocks inland, and slightly uphill, from the East River, Broad Street had been covered in three or four feet of water.  Rockaway was just car tops and rubble sticking out of the Atlantic Ocean, and law enforcement could be seen staging inflatable boats all over Manhattan because that would soon become the only way to get around.

         All our lives, hurricanes had been associated with the word, tropical, and now the folks at the Weather Channel looked embarrassed explaining no, winds really increase because of differing temperature levels, not warm oceans, so that an Arctic mass colliding with a northbound Frankenstorm Sandy, plus whatever else is going on up there right now, could theoretically produce destructive wind speeds as this monster pressed on all the way up to MONTREAL and QUEBEC CITY.

         WTF.

         We don't want to see the mess TV is going to bring us in the AM.  Whatever comes on, it’ll be like watching the Science Fiction Channel instead of national news.  Already, science fact is way more terrifying than science fiction.

         And Tom Cruise isn’t even in this one.

The Latest

          On Friday, affirmative-action educated bureaucrats at the Commerce Department announced that GDP grew at a faster pace in the third quarter than it has in years, buoyed by the enlightened policies of the Potty-Mouth in the Oval Office, who “you dumbass honkey m%th4rf&ck#rson needs to vote for bad”, this at the end of another week when hedge fund managers continued to trash stock prices and generate scary spin in a relentless attack designed to show the electorate how easily short-sellers can take world financial markets down once again if their Swiss bank account guy isn’t swept into office.

         “Face it”, a hedge fund industry spokesperson explained from his 973 foot yacht off the shimmering coast of Majorca, “we’re so much smarter than anybody else we make godzillions by sticking you pathetic suckers with our toxic assets and transmogrifying all your silly little jobs overseas, so it’s just ridiculous that we have to pay any taxes at all.  I bet you morons don’t even know what transmogrify means either.’’

         We’re still leaning toward whatshisname, that Libertarian type who promises he’ll be taking votes away from both of them.

President Potty-Mouth

         While preparing for his interview with the President of the United States, this dad asked his little six year-old if there was anything the child wanted to say to POTUS.

         “Tell him,” the kid replied, 'you can do it.'”

         Informed of this exchange after the interview was over, the Commander-in-Chief responded, “Kids have good instincts.  They look at the other guy, and say, 'Well, that’s a bullshitter.  I can tell.’”

         We’re dying to find out what the dad went back and told his little six year-old about that ability to know a bullshitter when the kid sees one.

         Really.  If anybody runs across this bullshit, please inform someone on our staff.  The historical record is not complete without it.

         Forget the photoshopped birth certificate and the missing college transcripts and Indonesian passports.  The country will have a good laugh over all that bullshit when the stuff is released seventy-five years from now.  This dad's bullshit is out there somewhere and available to us.  We've got to have it.

        And there's no word from that referenced bullshitter yet on how he feels about being outed.

Charitable Works Update

Remember that precedent-setting Aussie film documentary we told you about a few blogs ago? Well, the Brazilian babe auctioning off her virginity for charity got a winning bid of $780 thousand from some undisclosed Japanese guy.  The Brazilian dude doing the same with his received a final $3 thousand offer.  She’ll come through aboard an airplane flying between Australia and the United States in an attempt to thwart jurisdiction by some publicity-seeking prosecutor who loves to spoil other people's fun for personal political gain, and claims it isn’t prostitution anyway if you only do it once.  The sex part won’t be filmed, she hasn’t recanted on her promise to give the proceeds away to charity, and the media can still find spokespersons for charity who claim nobody wants $780 thousand from the likes of her.

The MacDougal Post is pleased to announce the formation of The MacDougal Post Tennessee Elderly Gentleman Charitable Foundation (TMPTEGCF), which has been created to help foot the living expenses of an elderly gentleman residing in Tennessee with any kind of donation that anybody wants to mail our way, or wire transfer, direct deposit, slip under the table, airdrop, or toss down our driveway from the back seat of a speeding vehicle in the middle of the night.

If everyone receiving this announcement forwards it to 20 people on their email list, she’ll find out about TMPTEGCF by maybe noon, plenty of time to invite us along on the flight or whatever she wants too.

Should this neo-Brazilian female business model catch on elsewhere, particularly in some of those EU countries, our staff economist predicts that it would turn the world economy around by early next week latest.

At Debate’s End

          With Carried Interest's money tucked away in Switzerland, his books stashed in the Caribbean Isles, and the American jobs his hedge fund has disposed of all outsourced to China, and with Blatant Umama’s birth certificate in Kenya, his student records in Indonesia, and a college vacation spent in some country where tourists with US passports were not even allowed to enter …… with all this on their foreign policy plates and more, we quickly lost interest in whatever the two unpresidential candidates were going on about last night, as the “foreign policy” issues in the Lynn University debate on foreign policy issues had nothing to do with anything that ever went on with these two bozos in their real lives outside the United States.

         The American voter probably went to sleep early again last night , which is something, we suppose.  At the end of all the debating, it’s a tie score.  Umama is a zero, Carried Interest is a zero, Invisible Joe is a zero and a half, and the Boogieman is now Dopey of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which would give him fewer points than Invisible Joe if it weren't for the mathematical fact that zero plus zero is still zero, so even Dopey of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs can’t lose worse than any of the others in this catastrophe of an unpresidential election.

         God help us, the country has no chance.

The Romney Tax Plan

 http://www.romneytaxplan.com/

Third Hat in the Ring

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