On a day when 1) our Fed Chairman again delighted the non compos mentis everywhere by insisting that he, Ben the Almighty, and not China, was responsible for rigging U.S. Treasury bond prices to keep interest rates near zero in exchange for maintaining our consumer product manufacturing infrastructure over there, where it’s been during the entire budget crisis, instead of here, where it used to be before we had real unemployment/underemployment somewhere in excess of 30%, adding he’d continue to do so for a couple more years, 2) Mitt Romney’s people had to disclose, along with his tax returns, that the unawife polygamist received “carried interest”, fingering him as a hedge fund manager, not a vulture capitalist as previously spun, and 3) British officials announced that a Romney peer, another prominent U.S. hedge fund manager, got fined 7.2 million pounds for insider trading in London - on a day when all that calamari came down - God help us, it was confirmed that the Mayan Calendar ends the world on December 21, 2012.
The Post is delighted to announce that we now endorse Jesus Christ as our choice to head the Republican ticket this November. The Son of God might not be around yet come Election Day, but He’s all we’re going to need that next month, and we’re hoping that this endorsement gives the entire blog staff a leg up on getting into our deserved Gloryland during the ensuing End of Days.
In a separate statement, that aforementioned unawife polygamist proclaimed he’d made upwards of $150 million all by himself, inheriting none of it. As our subscribers know full well, there are only two kinds of money on Wall Street, theirs and ours, meaning this hedge fund manager filched his entire bundle from you and me. We’d call for a Securities and Excuses Commission investigation of every single penny of that $150 million, or whatever, but who cares now?
As for that other thing, what is starting to look like the unmentionable issue, one wonders why this isn’t the big story here. Mitt’s great grandfather had 5 wives, and at least one of his great-great grandfathers had 12. Some Romney female from those days is on record as shedding “tears of sorrow” over her father’s multiple marriages. When do the talking airheads sate our curiosity over what seems to be more than a tad bizarre in a Presidential candidate’s background? Surely there are relatives to stalk.
