We jumped all over Real Estate Investment Trusts when those outfits started going public, giddy to be collecting dividends from, one had to figure, the meanest landlords in the country, the worst kind of human beings who, in order to get there, one further figured, had to basically screw all the other worst kind of human beings out of going public too.
Meanwhile, one New York landlord was dragging rank skullduggery down to a whole new, kind of subhuman, level. Stiffing stodgy old financial institutions left and right, this dark genius parleyed one bankruptcy after another into fame, chintzy glamour, and fortune, ultimately crowning himself the Richest A$$hole in America, at least in the public eye. And ours.
This should help explain why we obsess over every sandbagging word Donald Trump is jerking America around with these days.
On June 1, The Donald has promised, he’ll tell us whether or not the Richest A$$hole in America will run for President. That’s not President of one of the myriad companies he scuttled, always clinging onto these headline-grabbing minority interests in exchange for continued use of his catastrophic, but confoundingly bankable last name.
That’s President of the United States of America.
The job now held by the guy who couldn’t get into the colleges he got into unless something funny was going on, at least according to the Richest A$$hole in America, and flimflam man’s got his people looking into all that, like they did with the birth certificate thing, which The Donald resolved for us just the other day.
Singlehandedly too, he might add.
Birthers spent years trying to make Umama come clean over that one. Richest A$$hole pops off, and shuts the circus down inside of maybe two weeks. The whole bamboozling three ring extravaganza is over, folks. Done. Caput, gratis The Donald.
We actually have him to thank for something. Something big too. Don’t think he’s not going to spin it that way to all the right people either. The 65,000,001, or whatever, voters he needs come November 2012.
Latest is, America’s Richest A$$hole wants to start charging other countries for services we’ve been providing them for free. Presumably, he means military services. I mean, what other kind are there? From us anyway.
People like the late Princess Di go around doing works. Like removing deadly landmines in Africa. But us? We put them there. Or drove somebody else to. Or made them. Or sold them. Or whatever.
Without countries like the USA, there wouldn’t be people like the late Princess Di. At least, not in the landmine removal business, there wouldn't.
Anyway, what we do is provide free military services, according to the Richest A$$hole in America, and only the Richest A$$hole in America is capable of even seeing it that way. Note that he’s scoping out the big picture here. Comprehensive Military services, the full menu, like when we go into, say, Afghanistan to, I don’t know, spend decades freeing them from Taliban oppression for a few weeks after we leave, or whatever it is we’re doing there. Whatever, things like this cost a king’s ransom to pull off. Well, under The Donald, from now on we actually go after His Royal Highness and collect on His Royal Tab. Presumably money, however there’s clearly a problem with that part.
From the looks of everyplace we’ve been, once we’ve been there, at least for a while, there is no money. Sometimes there is no king. To get paid it looks like The Donald will have to start taking stuff.
Like throwing somebody out of their house and keeping the furniture. And intuition suggests a New York landlord is going to be really good at that. If voters give him the chance.
The Post had to go all the way back to Attila the Hun to find a precedent for all this.
Now, sometimes Rome made the Huns pay tribute to Rome, and sometimes the Huns made Rome pay tribute to the Huns. Under Attila, however, there was never any question. The scourge of the Roman Empire rampaged and laid waste and slew monks and maidens in great number. There were other blood-lettings too. As long as Attila galloped forth, all the tributes went to him.
It’s unclear whether or not he was in it for the tribute though. Attila may have just liked galloping. We simply don’t know.
Fortunately for The Donald, however, there was Genghis Kahn as well. Genghis and his Mongols pillaged and sacked, or burned things to the ground, killing entire populations, but only sometimes, the rest of the time just massacring all the men, and the best deal anybody ever got out of Genghis was enslavement, only you had to be an artisan to get it, or a woman or little kid. That was called conquering. However, he and the Horde took stuff too, and when they did, it became known as looting and plundering. Presumably, that’s where The Donald wants to step in.
Just with the looting and plundering. I don’t think he wants to go with the pillaging, sacking, burning, killing, massacring, or enslavement. That means no conquering. At least he hasn’t said so yet. His thinking has to be, there’s no money in pillaging, sacking, burning, killing, or massacring, and no votes, among independents anyway, for enslavement. But the looting and plundering …..
You’d think looting and plundering would have to be a no-brainer for any New York landlord. It’d be fascinating to see what the Richest A$$hole in America could do with the two of them.
We haven’t had that kind of fun in this country ….. Well, ever, I think.
Now, a lot of our readers live in the Northeast Corridor, and you people may find this next part really, really hard to understand, (if you haven’t decided we’ve totally lost it already), but our modest sampling of neighborhood voters on the looting and plundering issue shows The Donald winning everything west of the Hudson River by a landslide in 2012. In fact, the brand new MacDougal Post Election 2012 Headquarters can already project the Richest A$$hole in America to take all the votes in Leoma, Tennessee.
As some of you may recall, The Post is on record supporting a Trump candidacy because we want to see his tax returns. Given our history on the REIT thing though, and this new looting and plundering issue, don’t be surprised to see your blogger, like most of rural America, positioned squarely behind this A$$hole if he comes through with those tax returns for us and runs.
April 30, 2011
April 27, 2011
The Millenniums
Last night, 60 Minutes on CNBC had a segment on Millenniums, a catchy slogan for the generation of degree-bearing, suburban-bred twenty-somethings now entering the workforce, or at least trying to. Another deal on the same show had been shot a couple years ago, so maybe this one was a tad dated too.
Anyway, Morley Safer or somebody described these losers as total employment misfits, coddled by youth sports into thinking that everyone gets trophies in life, convinced they’re special by politically correct support groups telling kids so for no discernable reason, inherently incapable of “taking orders”, their view of how corporate America functions, and worst of all, conditioned to put family and friends first. Specifically, ahead of job, for Chrissake.
Millenniums have spawned a multi-billion dollar industry of consultants and such to advise middle management on how to change company ways in order to accommodate moms who call up Human Resources complaining their brat wasn’t given the kind of personnel evaluation His or Her Royal Highness really deserved.
WTF?
The MacDougal Post unconditionally urges multinational corporations our readers might want to invest in to keep shipping American jobs offshore as quickly as you can, and as far offshore as possible too, and suggest the rest of you go ahead and pick up the slack, taking all the Millenniums you want off our job markets.
In fact, staff at The Post now wonder why all the jobs in America haven’t aleady gone to Bangladesh and them, especially by now, and congratulate Washington on its patriotism in making outsourcing possible on the kind of massive scale that‘ll keep our readers’ dividend checks rolling in.
Congressmen, you’re all great Americans on this one. And keep trashing the economy.
Twenty more years of sh!# ought to straighten the little bastards out.
Anyway, Morley Safer or somebody described these losers as total employment misfits, coddled by youth sports into thinking that everyone gets trophies in life, convinced they’re special by politically correct support groups telling kids so for no discernable reason, inherently incapable of “taking orders”, their view of how corporate America functions, and worst of all, conditioned to put family and friends first. Specifically, ahead of job, for Chrissake.
Millenniums have spawned a multi-billion dollar industry of consultants and such to advise middle management on how to change company ways in order to accommodate moms who call up Human Resources complaining their brat wasn’t given the kind of personnel evaluation His or Her Royal Highness really deserved.
WTF?
The MacDougal Post unconditionally urges multinational corporations our readers might want to invest in to keep shipping American jobs offshore as quickly as you can, and as far offshore as possible too, and suggest the rest of you go ahead and pick up the slack, taking all the Millenniums you want off our job markets.
In fact, staff at The Post now wonder why all the jobs in America haven’t aleady gone to Bangladesh and them, especially by now, and congratulate Washington on its patriotism in making outsourcing possible on the kind of massive scale that‘ll keep our readers’ dividend checks rolling in.
Congressmen, you’re all great Americans on this one. And keep trashing the economy.
Twenty more years of sh!# ought to straighten the little bastards out.
April 25, 2011
Required Reading
So seldom do we agree with anything anybody says that it came as rather a shock to concur with everything David Stockman postulated in his recent online New York Times opine, The Bipartisan March to Fiscal Madness, found at:
h ttp://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/24/opinion/24stockman.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha212
The former Republican Director of the Office of Management and Budget allows that Umama’s solution to the menacing National Debt is just more of the Democratic Party’s ineffectual attack on the rich while fiscal adolescent Paul Ryan’s proposal just continues the wildly successful broadside against our poor and middle classes waged by Beltway Republicans since at least the Reagan years, if not something like the beginning of time.
There are no winners here, and the falderal simply draws us closer to class warfare than anyone has been since maybe the French Revolution settled their disputes with a guillotine. Of particular interest to Post readers is the accurate commentary on our rigged US Treasury bond market, a collusion of nations that, which has made financial malfeasance possible, and will continue to do so right up to the point of hyperinflation, if allowed to go on any longer.
h ttp://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/24/opinion/24stockman.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha212
The former Republican Director of the Office of Management and Budget allows that Umama’s solution to the menacing National Debt is just more of the Democratic Party’s ineffectual attack on the rich while fiscal adolescent Paul Ryan’s proposal just continues the wildly successful broadside against our poor and middle classes waged by Beltway Republicans since at least the Reagan years, if not something like the beginning of time.
There are no winners here, and the falderal simply draws us closer to class warfare than anyone has been since maybe the French Revolution settled their disputes with a guillotine. Of particular interest to Post readers is the accurate commentary on our rigged US Treasury bond market, a collusion of nations that, which has made financial malfeasance possible, and will continue to do so right up to the point of hyperinflation, if allowed to go on any longer.
April 21, 2011
“The Chinese Are Ripping Us off”
The moment Donald Trump delighted the viewing audience with that engaging observation, his candidacy received a wholehearted endorsement by The MacDougal Post.
Understand, nobody here wants to vote for him or anything. We’d just like to see his tax returns. By law, The Donald has to show them to us if he runs.
And we’re thinking maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if he won too. Putting the full might of the American military colossus behind a New York landlord could solve at least seven National “issues” we can come up with, and in a New York minute too.
Make no mistake about it. The Donald is a New York landlord. His father was a New York landlord before him. Take everything this man says about himself for what it really is. New York landlord talk.
He’s not a businessman. He’s a New York landlord saying he‘s a businessman. He’s not a magnate. He’s a New York landlord saying he’s a magnate. He’s not a casino operator. He’s a New York landlord saying he’s a casino operator. He’s not a reality show host.
His reality show sucks.
New York landlords throw families out of their homes for a living. Our mom was in show business, and she knew. Stars in show business make all the money. Everybody else is broke, but even broke people have to live somewhere, and that doesn‘t sit well with New York landlords, which is why she knew. She even had stories.
You don’t want to hear our mom’s New York landlord stories. Until we were 37 years old, we ran away every time we saw a New York landlord coming because of our mom's NewYork landlord stories. New York landlords are probably why, late in life, we moved to Tennessee and bought handguns.
New York landlords throw people out of their homes for a living. They raise rents that way, turn apartments into condominiums that way, renovate slums that way. Everybody thinks New York landlords get rich collecting rents, but no. They get rich throwing people out of their homes for a living.
And New York landlords poke around at very curious times of day to try and see how many people are living in there with you. Or with her, as the case may occasionally be.
Urban legend has it that no New York landlord has ever paid a dime of Federal Income Tax in their lives. The pack of them. New York landlords get to write off the cost of their properties every year even when property values rise. That’s what happened from the 1940’s until a few years ago, and real estate prices climbed sharply then too. This totally fictitious cost, called depreciation, reduced their operating profits to losses on their tax returns during that entire period, according to urban legend anyway, if they worked depreciation hard enough.
Presumably, The Donald did. If so, that’s why The Donald doesn’t want to talk about his Federal Income Tax Returns, and also why we want to see them so much.
It’s strange that The Donald floated his presidential campaign trial balloon so close to April 15. Maybe he had to pay income taxes for once. He sounded really angry, like the country had just gotten into his pockets for the very first time, and he wanted to get even. Figured we owed him the job now.
Anyway, The Donald’s had more experience with bankruptcy than anyone else in public life. Probably ever. Maybe The Donald is precisely who the country needs at this absurd moment in our history.
Regardless, The Post just wants to see his tax returns. If the Trump family really hasn’t paid taxes for something like a century now, as urban legend has it, the rest of us really need to know.
Understand, nobody here wants to vote for him or anything. We’d just like to see his tax returns. By law, The Donald has to show them to us if he runs.
And we’re thinking maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if he won too. Putting the full might of the American military colossus behind a New York landlord could solve at least seven National “issues” we can come up with, and in a New York minute too.
Make no mistake about it. The Donald is a New York landlord. His father was a New York landlord before him. Take everything this man says about himself for what it really is. New York landlord talk.
He’s not a businessman. He’s a New York landlord saying he‘s a businessman. He’s not a magnate. He’s a New York landlord saying he’s a magnate. He’s not a casino operator. He’s a New York landlord saying he’s a casino operator. He’s not a reality show host.
His reality show sucks.
New York landlords throw families out of their homes for a living. Our mom was in show business, and she knew. Stars in show business make all the money. Everybody else is broke, but even broke people have to live somewhere, and that doesn‘t sit well with New York landlords, which is why she knew. She even had stories.
You don’t want to hear our mom’s New York landlord stories. Until we were 37 years old, we ran away every time we saw a New York landlord coming because of our mom's NewYork landlord stories. New York landlords are probably why, late in life, we moved to Tennessee and bought handguns.
New York landlords throw people out of their homes for a living. They raise rents that way, turn apartments into condominiums that way, renovate slums that way. Everybody thinks New York landlords get rich collecting rents, but no. They get rich throwing people out of their homes for a living.
And New York landlords poke around at very curious times of day to try and see how many people are living in there with you. Or with her, as the case may occasionally be.
Urban legend has it that no New York landlord has ever paid a dime of Federal Income Tax in their lives. The pack of them. New York landlords get to write off the cost of their properties every year even when property values rise. That’s what happened from the 1940’s until a few years ago, and real estate prices climbed sharply then too. This totally fictitious cost, called depreciation, reduced their operating profits to losses on their tax returns during that entire period, according to urban legend anyway, if they worked depreciation hard enough.
Presumably, The Donald did. If so, that’s why The Donald doesn’t want to talk about his Federal Income Tax Returns, and also why we want to see them so much.
It’s strange that The Donald floated his presidential campaign trial balloon so close to April 15. Maybe he had to pay income taxes for once. He sounded really angry, like the country had just gotten into his pockets for the very first time, and he wanted to get even. Figured we owed him the job now.
Anyway, The Donald’s had more experience with bankruptcy than anyone else in public life. Probably ever. Maybe The Donald is precisely who the country needs at this absurd moment in our history.
Regardless, The Post just wants to see his tax returns. If the Trump family really hasn’t paid taxes for something like a century now, as urban legend has it, the rest of us really need to know.
April 19, 2011
Outlook Revision
Even though Standard & Poor’s got around to mentioning it, we need to emphasize that the National Debt remains a problem of cataclysmic proportions. The time-honored Wall Street adage of buying the rumor, selling the news, and totally ignoring any fool thing some dumb a$$ rating agency comes out with is not applicable on this one as S&P is uncharacteristically somewhere near the ball park at a time when a game is actually being played over here.
April 15, 2011
Much Ado about Nothing
Lately, there’s been a pathetic flurry of news out of Washington over the financial holocaust. Seasoned Post readers should be able to seize on a couple of points, and join us in shaking our heads over the rest.
One, the FBI was ordered to stand down. Once the calamari hit the fan, there was no law enforcement in Washington and, we assume, there still isn‘t any. That’s probably why nobody nabbed the Secretary of the Treasury and them for slipping the Dons a freaking “bailout” jackpot after Gangland racketeers bumbled into their own bogus sub-prime mortgage knockdown.
Shoot, that’s probably why the Secretaries of Everything aren’t in the slammer today. And everybody else in town.
Two, the three pillars of Organized Crime on Wall Street remain untouched, unmentioned, and uncommented upon by a complicit media. Short selling, the issuance of phony-baloney shares to trash companies, industries, market sectors, whole markets, entire economies, and now the civilized world and Iceland, remains sacrosanct, the holy cross we all must bear during the rigged “free” market’s periodic high processionals to oblivion. Dancing around customer orders, the old smarmy two-step, continues to bleed us dry, and gangbanging, muscling prices around behind the full financial clout of all the Families acting together, is violating targeted stocks on the short interest list as we sit here and lament.
Readers, all together now, Shake,
Shake, Shake, Shake your heads, readers, Shake.
Dons too. Shake in Cel-e-bra-tion Dons,
Shake, Shake, Shake your booty, Shake,
Owwwww, Shake, Shake, Shake your booty, Shake,
Shake your booty, Shake.
Shake, Shake, Shake your booty,
Shake, Shake, Shake your booty,
Shake, Shake, Shake your booty,
Shake, Shake, Shake your booty, Dons, Shake.
One, the FBI was ordered to stand down. Once the calamari hit the fan, there was no law enforcement in Washington and, we assume, there still isn‘t any. That’s probably why nobody nabbed the Secretary of the Treasury and them for slipping the Dons a freaking “bailout” jackpot after Gangland racketeers bumbled into their own bogus sub-prime mortgage knockdown.
Shoot, that’s probably why the Secretaries of Everything aren’t in the slammer today. And everybody else in town.
Two, the three pillars of Organized Crime on Wall Street remain untouched, unmentioned, and uncommented upon by a complicit media. Short selling, the issuance of phony-baloney shares to trash companies, industries, market sectors, whole markets, entire economies, and now the civilized world and Iceland, remains sacrosanct, the holy cross we all must bear during the rigged “free” market’s periodic high processionals to oblivion. Dancing around customer orders, the old smarmy two-step, continues to bleed us dry, and gangbanging, muscling prices around behind the full financial clout of all the Families acting together, is violating targeted stocks on the short interest list as we sit here and lament.
Readers, all together now, Shake,
Shake, Shake, Shake your heads, readers, Shake.
Dons too. Shake in Cel-e-bra-tion Dons,
Shake, Shake, Shake your booty, Shake,
Owwwww, Shake, Shake, Shake your booty, Shake,
Shake your booty, Shake.
Shake, Shake, Shake your booty,
Shake, Shake, Shake your booty,
Shake, Shake, Shake your booty,
Shake, Shake, Shake your booty, Dons, Shake.
April 12, 2011
Employment Report
It’s about time in the business cycle for Wall Street to load up on Ivy League suckers again. If the averages get too much higher, you’ll see armies of graduate lemmings pouring into their shiny new financial cubicles, filling up all those vacant office floors disemboweled by the financial holocaust a few years ago.
Elites are conditioned by that culture-biased, pre-test-preparation rigged SAT deal to actually believe they’re smarter than everybody else, which is just what the Crime Families need their closest victims to think. Your typical buttoned-down, self-acknowledged brainiac accepts full responsibility for his personal failure and pretty much everything else that goes ka-plooey once Dons trash economies, sometimes civilized worlds, and sees getting fired as his due in some pathetic kind of total psychological capitulation that nobody else would even understand, let alone subject themselves to.
It’s a match made in Heaven for Gangland racketeering. Criminal mind vs. complete moron.
Not that we’re addressing anybody in particular here, mind you, but if you’re a MacDougal Post subscriber and you’ve drawn this overeducated royal pain-in-the-ass son-in-law Jesus, Joseph, and Mary Themselves couldn’t possibly stomach, let alone the rest of your brood, send his smarmy ass over to Filch & Finagle in a few months, and tell him to sign up.
Life won't get any sweeter than that for you, believe me.
Elites are conditioned by that culture-biased, pre-test-preparation rigged SAT deal to actually believe they’re smarter than everybody else, which is just what the Crime Families need their closest victims to think. Your typical buttoned-down, self-acknowledged brainiac accepts full responsibility for his personal failure and pretty much everything else that goes ka-plooey once Dons trash economies, sometimes civilized worlds, and sees getting fired as his due in some pathetic kind of total psychological capitulation that nobody else would even understand, let alone subject themselves to.
It’s a match made in Heaven for Gangland racketeering. Criminal mind vs. complete moron.
Not that we’re addressing anybody in particular here, mind you, but if you’re a MacDougal Post subscriber and you’ve drawn this overeducated royal pain-in-the-ass son-in-law Jesus, Joseph, and Mary Themselves couldn’t possibly stomach, let alone the rest of your brood, send his smarmy ass over to Filch & Finagle in a few months, and tell him to sign up.
Life won't get any sweeter than that for you, believe me.
April 11, 2011
Today’s News 4/11/11
We’ve only scanned headlines the past three weeks, and have no idea what was inside any of the stories, but won’t let that slow us down, given the obvious possibilities.
McDonald’s announced it's hiring 50 thousand new workers and increasing store hours at many locations. If those lucky new hires pick up 20 hours a week between 2 and 5 AM, as one suspects, that should solve all our economic problems for sure, at least until McDonald‘s sees why they never had those stores open at those times in the first place.
And if their burger flipping stimulus does fall short, the White House just released news that President Obama is outlining his own plans to reduce the Federal deficit on Wednesday, following the failure of Republican attempts to attain fiscal responsibility by offing Planned Parenthood.
Expect Sasha and Malia to open up a lemonade stand on Pennsylvania Avenue for the summer.
McDonald’s announced it's hiring 50 thousand new workers and increasing store hours at many locations. If those lucky new hires pick up 20 hours a week between 2 and 5 AM, as one suspects, that should solve all our economic problems for sure, at least until McDonald‘s sees why they never had those stores open at those times in the first place.
And if their burger flipping stimulus does fall short, the White House just released news that President Obama is outlining his own plans to reduce the Federal deficit on Wednesday, following the failure of Republican attempts to attain fiscal responsibility by offing Planned Parenthood.
Expect Sasha and Malia to open up a lemonade stand on Pennsylvania Avenue for the summer.
April 7, 2011
Market Tip
To make money, buy some good stock, hold it until it goes up, and then sell it.
If it doesn't go up, don't buy it.
- Will Rogers
If it doesn't go up, don't buy it.
- Will Rogers
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