(Note:
MacDougal Post founder, MacDougal Irving, hisself, is running for
President of the United States of America in 2016 on the brand new Curmudgeon
Party ticket, and we’re announcing his political promises whenever we come up
with one:)
The Curmudgeon Party is proud to
announce the following addition to its Political Promise Agenda:
#2)
The Curmudgeon Party’s first priority after the election will be to bring
racial balance to the game of professional basketball at both the NBA and
professional college levels, guaranteeing all Americans their civil right to
participate to the full extent of their kind’s proportionate ratio to our
nation’s total population, in a game that was invented in their country, for goodness sakes.
If an ethnic demographic component comprises only, say, 10% of the
nation’s population, then said ethnic demographic component’s representation in
the game of professional basketball would be limited to only one player out of
ten on each team roster. Rosters would
be restricted to fifteen players, so that in the preceding 10% ethnicity
example, management of any team could roster up to, but no more than, one
adult-sized player and one little person-sized, or midget-sized, or dwarf-sized,
or whatever we’re supposed to call them now, player from that demographic
component.
We ran into this barber in town who hasn’t
viewed a professional basketball game since maybe 1963, and that was fifty years ago, and everybody in the
shop nodded when he said so. Fifty years
is too many years to go without viewing a game of professional basketball, in
our opinion, way too many years, and something has to be done about that for
the benefit of Americans who would otherwise love the sport if they had anybody
they could even remotely identify with playing in it and none of them took
PED’s or listened to rappers instead of country.
The civil rights of our neighbors have
been ignored for far too long in this country, and the Curmudgeon Party
promises we’re going to do something about that when we get MacDougal Irving elected.
