Greatest Movies of All Time
- Slap Shot, starring Paul Newman
- Debbie Does Dallas, starring Bambi Woods
- Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, starring Sleepy, Dopey, Sneezy, Happy, Bashful, Grumpy, and Doc
- Debbie Does Dallas II: She’s Scoring Again, starring Bambi Woods
- Casablanca, starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman
Greatest TV of All Time
- Duck Dynasty, starring Jase, Kay, Phil, Willie, Korie, Missy, Si, Sadie, Jep, and John Luke Robertson
- Apollo 11 Mission, starring Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin
- Kefauver Committee Hearings, starring Frank Costello, Tony “Big Tuna” Accardo, Meyer Lansky, and Jake “Greasy Thumb” Guzik
- White Bronco Car Chase, starring O. J. Simpson, Al Cowlings, and 20 Police Cars
- All in the Family, starring Carroll O’Connor and Jean Stapleton
Now and again, there comes a crystallizing moment in the performing arts
when some gifted souls manage to craft the quintessential essence of
our humanity into their work, and just who we are, and who we’ve been, and where
we’ll be starting out from next, are bared, becoming almost palpable, while contemporary culture
itself is revealed clear as the light of day.
This is one of those moments, and the Robertsons of West Monroe
Louisiana, Jase and Willy and Jep and them, are those gifted souls. Clan started out manufacturing duck calls, their
signature product being America’s favorite, the omnipresent Duck Commander,
and have since added family entertainment to the business. Show enthralls the hearts of gun-loving Americans everywhere throughout the Heartland.
If you at least think you could probably take to moonshine
because drinking ain’t never been about the taste, or ever got sat kind of in
the middle there in the wedding chapel because the thing about the relatives and friends of the bride
and the relatives and friends of the groom was bringing up stuff you really didn't want to mention, and that Hee
Haw cancellation left a void in your life that never would be filled, and, most
of all, you’ve been pining for a Beverly Hillbillies with Semiautomatic Assault Weapons since maybe
1962 or thereabouts, then you probably have some idea of what we’re talking about here.
Duck Dynasty is aired on A&E Wednesdays at 8 PM Central,
7 PM Rocky Mountain. Subscribers in time
zones that include Candy-Ass Liberal states on the coasts can look up the %$#&ing times
for youselfs. Season III begins in 20
days. That would be Wednesday, February
27, if you’re too lazy to run through the numbers on your own, and the wife ain't around.
We got shine in our wet goods store. How about you? You even know? (Hint: she ain’t in the dry martini section
nowheres, and that’s for dang sure.) Pick some
up over the next three weeks, and tune on in.
