The guy was there when psychoeconomic theory predicted that cutting tax rates would
increase tax revenues. On the day Alan
Greenbaloney assured us that a
rigged-market/shadow-banker economy was really run by free markets in
the light of day, it was this guy's chortle you heard under the Fed table. Every time President Dubyah announced some
war and said it was being financed with tax cuts, the guy was hiding in the Oval
Office water closet. This guy was first in
demanding that politicians pledge to never raise taxes, first in demanding that
politicians vow to never vote to raise taxes, and first in demanding that
politicians balance the budget without raising taxes.
And the guy was there when Wall Street invented credit default swaps, and when Main
Street invented sub-prime mortgages. And when Easy Street invented “stock
options” for the CEO and all his/her little buddies, the guy was there too.
Remember the time Washington bailed out Wall
Street, and Main Street couldn’t believe its eyes, and Easy Street got more flipping
“stock options"? Well, the guy was all
over that one like a TSA inspector at a playmate convention. The guy is Beltway Swamiguru Bhangbhang Slamadoor
Ard.
We
caught up with the Beltway Swamiguru on his way down to the Ganges the other
day. Slamadoor Ard was sticking a toe in
when we got there.
“Are
you taking a bath, Bhangbhang?”
“We’re
going in for spiritual cleansing.”
“Then
why’d you bring the soap?” we had to wonder.
“The
lotus flower blooms in the Spring.”
“Oh.” Slamadoor Ard didn’t smell like no lotus flower
to us, we don’t mind saying.
You
don’t want to talk to a swamiguru when he’s cleansing his spirit in the Ganges
River with a bar of soap. He made us
hold his underpants the last time we went on safari, or pilgrimage, or whatever
it is we have to do to talk to this guy.
“Here,
hold my underpants, MacDougal.”
“Oh,
OK.” We’re so easy.
“Are
you ready to accept my spiritual awakening and give me all your money yet?”
Slamadoor
has his own agenda. It involves us
worshiping him with all our money, near as we can tell anyway. If you’ve been wondering what’s been up with
this country lately, that’s what’s been up.
Bhangbhang Slamadoor Ard is
behind the whole damn thing. That’s why
we went to see him. So we could keep our
valued subscribers informed. Tell you
about this guy and how he’s playing everybody.
“It’s
nice to see you again, Bhangbhang.”
“Are
you ready to accept my spiritual awakening and give me all your money yet?”
“Look,
can’t we just talk for once. You and me.”
“Are
you ready to accept my spiritual awakening and give me all your money yet?”
“Have
a little two way conversation?”
“Are
you ready to accept my spiritual awakening and give me all your money yet?”
Half
of us are about ready to throw in the towel and join his cult too. Fortunately, it’s the half without any money,
at least so far anyway.
Valued
subscribers, be on guard.
