The North Country Christmas Song, 2012
(Snot
Things Dancing in My Sweetheart’s Nose)
by
Tennessee
MacDougal Irving
Snot
things dancing in my sweetheart’s nose,
Driveway
layered thrice with ice,
Wee
perv elves staring up the daughter’s hose,
And
nothing ‘bout eggnog's very nice.
Everybody’s
price is flu and coughs, and ants and mice
Help
to make this Yule a fright.
Noisy
brats, all a'crawl with the lice,
Will
keep me up all bleeping night.
They
think that Saint Nick’s on his way;
Dude’s
crammed his big fat a$$ in some gigantic sleigh.
And
every mother’s spawn is all aglow,
To see
if anything ‘bout this hoser's sooooo.......
That’s
why I’m cantillating here today,
From
Minnehaha to St.Paul,
Although
its been aired many times many ways,
Fly to
Miami golldang Beach, y’all.
You betcha.
You betcha.