The MacDougal Post: Middle East Update

September 13, 2014

Middle East Update

News that President Umama plans to supply ISIS opposition fighters with American weapons has spread across the Middle East like wildfire, and Arab sources now report that applications to join Muslim forces who want to behead White men right now, which had been running at about 1,000 recruits a week, have dropped to "roughly zero" while a British Intelligence survey indicates that new inductees signed up by Muslim forces who can wait and behead White men later are suddenly coming in at a rate of 2,000 a fortnight, up from zilch before the Umama plan was announced.

In a situation room briefing early this morning, White House Spokesperson Clueless Jackson pointed to the numbers as a clear indication that Umama foreign policy is working the way our Muslim Commander-in-Chief wants it to.

Meanwhile in related news, a recent Al Jazeera poll of NATO infantry units stationed in Europe showed that foot soldiers are universally delighted with the new no-boots-on-the-ground policy, and can’t wait to see whether or not that means they’ll be issued Air Jordans now, or maybe the 2015 Nike Air Max's, though a pair of Adidas Superstars would be nice too.

Inside the Scam

Short-sellers flood markets with bogus shares, involving buyers in bookkeeping transactions, not stock, and not telling them about it. Wall Street helps hide the fraud with Madoff accounting, even letting shorts pay dividends as part of this scam, duping investors into believing they get real dividends paid by the company they thought they invested in.

Worse, short-selling, in effect, adds these phony shares to the actual total number reported in company financial statements, which goes into the various earnings per share (EPS) calculations, essential components of the critical metric universally used to value common stocks, the price/earnings ratio (P/E). In a selling frenzy, EPS can be cut from, say, $4.00 to $0.40 or $0.04 or whatever, by the immense volume of fake shares these pretend investors are drubbing the real ones with at point of purchase.

Every reference made to P/E as a calculable metric is a lie. Our stock market is gamed by short-side racketeers, rendering equity investment in this country a massive securities fraud. Their humongous swindle purloins much of our savings during every market downdraft.

Odds are the SEC staff belongs in jail. Gangland racketeering is more than enabled by the complicity of our regulatory hotshots. Mob stooges inside that agency have spearheaded these cons for generations, flat out lying to us all those years.

Surely, the SEC's remarkable contention that short-sellers borrow their shares from you and me is, in its downright absurdity, the nadir of arrogance and criminal obfuscation.

That's why we're never asked to go along with it.

Site Exclusives

As our young readers know, any loser who steals mommy and daddy's savings is a stupid ninny.

Wall Street hires the biggest dumbbells in the world. That's because God hates stealers, and the nincompoops don't even know it.

Keep an eye on bad men like hedge fund managers, bank CEOs and proprietary traders right here in The MacDougal Post. Incorrigible dingbats like Mucus Poole-Knightly, Pockets MulGoon, and Lewie the Dip, just to name a few of the head cases found on the site, are contracted to appear here exclusively.

You won't find that kind of financial coverage anywhere else in cyberspace.

Check in with us regularly to find out what's really going on with your money, if there's any left. And when it's all gone, take a shower whenever you can and drop in on us from the local public library.

The MacDougal Post

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September 13, 2014

Middle East Update

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