Prize

........... Recipient of the 2010 MacDougal Irving Prize for Truth in Market Manipulation ...........

November 29, 2012

The Way It Really Is


         Stock skimming, a.k.a equity “compensation”, a.k.a. stock “options”, is brilliant racketeering, the most successful scam in the History of Mankind.  Enabled by The Shareholder Reaming Act of 1980, effective Jan 1, 1981, cons here have been a big reason why the percentage of households with less than $10 thousand in assets (in constant 1995 dollars) rose from 29.7 percent to 37.1 percent between 1983 and 2010.  And that “less than” figure includes many households with no savings at all or “negative assets”, which is newspeak for net debt.

         The median net worth of American households has now reached a 43-year low of $57 thousand (1n 2010 dollars).

         Over the same 1983-2010 period the richest 1 percent grew their wealth by 71 percent.  Put the other way, the filthy rich increased their filthy take from 68.2 percent of every-freaking-thing to 76.7 percent and that is expected to continue climbing until the lying stocksuckers are nabbed and tossed into the slammer.  Everybody else lost ground, which is what happens when somebody has his or her falutin' hand in your falutin' pocket.

         Most studies blame salaries, which is the biggest crock of calamari since Wet Willie Clinton discussed moral values with an aghast citizenry.  A CEO takes home 380 times as much dough as his or her average worker’s salary, mostly because the flipping motherflipper-in-charge is pilfering the stockholder accounts too.  A little here, a little there adds the calamari up big time, cut-blocking brokerage accounts at the knees.  Victims not only spend less, they accumulate slower – when they get swindled by the Crime Lord in the corner office and all his/her little buddies.

         Like, Duh.

         But the entire blame should be placed on our media, and here’s why.  Look at the handjob one propaganda machine gave it's readers with the numbers we just told you about: 




November 27, 2012

Antiquity Bespeaks


         For gravitas in confronting financial crime, Post subscribers could do worse than turn to the Seventeenth Century, where the immortal words of Fulke Greville in Sonnet 103, verses 1, 2, & 3 of his sequence, Cælica, invoked below, were later set to chamber music for voyces and viols by the frothy Renaissance composer, Martin Peerson:

O Falfe and treacherous Probability,
Enemy of truth, and friend to wickedneffe;
With whothe bleare eyes opinion learnes to fee,
Truths feeble party here, and barrenneffe.

When thou hast thus mifled Humanity,
And loft obedience in the pride of wit;
With reafon dar’ft thou iudge the Deity,
And in thy flefh make bold to fafhion it.

Vaine thought, the word of Power is,
And till the vayles be rent, the felfe new borne,
Reveales no wonders of that inward bliffe,
Which but where faith is, everywhere finds fcorne.
         “Who therefore cenfures God with flefthly fp’rit,
         “As well in time may wrap up infinite.

         Meanwhile back in the Twenty-First Century, those of us fortunate enough to peruse the Autumn 2012 edition of The Viol, the Viola da Gamba Society of America’s VdGSA News of December 2011, and that recent Viols & Voices overleaf were cheered to find M.H. Feets hard at work editing even more Martin Peerson pieces for the Twenty-First Century meantone ear.  We all remember his enthralling BASSVS  The firft fett, Of Italian Madrigalls Englished, not to the fenfe of the original dittie, but after the affection of the Noate.   Well, not since BASSVS has this neo-Rennaisance stringed musical artist been so enthused about what is turning into his rather prodigious bequest to future generations of appreciative violists.  And we’re sorry we called him a Mississippi river rat too.

         Even if he is one.

November 25, 2012

Swindled Anew


         2006 brought with it a watershed moment in celebrity dentistry.  It was maybe 4:30 AM, Chicago time, when paparazzi close-ups first revealed to the world what Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lopez isn’t wearing when she drives up someplace and gets out of her stretch limo.  By 11:15 Chicagoland’s Drive-up Prophylaxis Clinic for the Stars had opened its lanes for business, and folks were already starting to get the wrong idea about Oakley Brookmall, D.D.S., and that cutting-edge curbside dental practice of his.

         Records later subpoenaed by the Illinois State Board of Family Values in Oral Hygiene show that Lindsay Lopez wasn’t even a patient there, at the time anyway.

         Well okay, Paris Milton was, and Parmella Andreson, and a few dozen other hotties too, and you should see the photos D.D.S. Brookmall has hanging on his drive-through wall these days.  Some you can even recognize from the sex tapes if your search engine is any good at all with indiscreet topics of prurient interest. 

         The celebrity dentist happened to be waiting for Paris Milton to pull in the other day when we got to his Prophylaxis Clinic for our appointment.  The hottie’s stretch was nowhere in sight, so Dr. Brookmall got up off his knees and set down his camera to welcome us.

         “Hi, MacDougal.”

         “Hi, Doc.”

         “You started flossing yet?”

         “Nope.”

         “Now what kind of example are you setting for Post subscribers, MacDougal?  Talking like that.”

         Just about then, this really, really long black stretch arrived, skidding to a screeching halt right in front of us.  Next thing you knew, the rear door got opened, and flashbulbs began popping.  Readers who might wonder why a Tinseltown ingenue would fly all the way out to the Windy City just for a cleaning have never experienced your top-of-the-line celebrity curbside dental practitioner in action.  It’s everything these women are looking for in a prophylaxis and more.  Much, much more.  When the hottie was done with Oakley’s examination, Miss Milton wriggled out of the back seat, swung her hips hither and yon, and sashayed off, mostly yon, but a little hither too from time to time, for a hygienist chair.  Dr. Brookmall leaned back against the wall and lit up a cigarette.

         Life is good for an upscale prophylactic clinician like Oakley Brookmall.  Real good some days.  We figured he was ready to discuss the recent bad news with his portfolio.

         “Doc, you read about the Credit Swish subprime mortgage lawsuit?”

         “&$!# yes.  $#%&ing Government is after my $#%&ing savings again, MacDougal.”  Dr. Brookmall is a Credit Swish stockholder.

         “The New York Attorney General alleges that bank execs lied when they told investors somebody was evaluating and monitoring all those bundled subprime mortgages that helped take down the global economy in the Financial Apocalypse.”

         “$#%&ing $#%&ers.”

         “Credit Swish deals produced $11.2 billion in losses.”

         “$#%&.”  For the toast of Chicagoland’s oral hygiene community and one of their leading spokespersons, Oakley Brookmall sure has a mouth on him.  “$#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&” 

         “Government’s trying to recoup that amount from the bank’s shareholder accounts, plus a hefty fine.”

         “$#%&ing shareholders didn’t do “&$!# to nobody.”

         “Last week Credit Swish shareholder accounts had to cough up $120 million because bank perps took settlements from loan originators, stuck the dough in the bank, and didn’t give any to their victimized bondholders.”

         “$#%&ers.”

         “None of the Credit Swish scoundrels have been charged with anything, or made to pay a dime.”

         “$#%&ing “$#%&ers.”

         “Not one thin dime, Oakley.”

         “$#%&ing $#%&ing $#%&ing $#%&ers.”

         “Just you.  And the other shareholders.  Government is taking it all out of your hides.”

         “$#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.”

         "First, Swish bankers trash shareholders’ equity with shenanigans, then the Feds go after it through lawsuits.  Ain’t that two kicks in the head?”

         “$#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.”

         “Just today’s shareholders too.  People who held Credit Swish stock at the time this was going on don’t have to hand over anything from their former ownership accounts.  Bought-and-paid-for Government protects everybody even remotely in this thing and then turns around and victimizes you and us, today’s shareholders."

         “$#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.”

         “Well, you anyway.  We don’t hold financials anymore ourselves, to be honest with you. Oakley.”

         “$#%& you, MacDougal.  I’m glad you don’t floss.”

         “No more financial stocks in our portfolio, Doc.  Not In this lifetime anyway.”

         “I hope you never $#%&ing floss again.”

November 23, 2012

View from the Top


         Peering off the edge of the Financial Cliff, a learned Elizabethan scholar/Mississippi river rat emailed the Post to share one view of the lower face, a crumbling wall of taxable rock at the base of this mountain of woe.  Good luck on the way down, y'all.



November 17, 2012

Anti-White Racists Crucify Patriotic American


         If you've ever doubted that the JewishBlackIllegalLatino Supremacist Group has been empowered by subversive elements in mainstream media, go ahead and slosh through the supportive vitriol dripping all over this vindictive propaganda piece:

Celebrity Dentist Speaks Out


         Forget what the media says.  As always, it’s shareholders who’ll be paying that $4.5 billion BP settlement.  Suckers like you and us.  The largest corporate criminal penalty in U.S. history will come out of funds earmarked for enhancing stockholder return.  Be it capital investment, debt leveraging, stock buy-backs, or any of a ton of value-creating uses, worthwhile stuff will be curtailed.  Stuff that increases net worth.  Our net worth.  And we didn’t do jack to the Gulf of Mexico.

         Jack.  That’s what we didn’t do in all of this.  Diddley squat jack.

         MacDougal asked Celebrity Dentist, Oakley Brookmall, BP stockholder and spokesperson for the small investor, what he thought of the latest miscarriage over at Justice.

         “$#%& Justice”, the toast of Chicagoland’s oral health community responded.  “$#%& Justice and the $#%&ing horse they $#%&ing rode in on.”

         “The British oil colossus pled guilty to 14 felony counts related to that 2010 Deepwater Horizon spill in the Gulf.  Does that make you feel any better, Doctor Brookmall?”

         “What the $#%& do you think?”

         “There were 11 charges of manslaughter.”

         “$#%& that.  What the $#%& do I have to pay $#%&ing $4.5 billion for?  $#%&ing WHAT the $#%& FOR?”

         “And one felony count for obstruction of justice related to lies about the size of the leak.”

         “WHY $#%&ing ME?  “Stockholders didn’t do $#%&ing &%#$.  What are the $#%&ing $#%&heads taking our $#%&ing stockholder savings for?”

         “Three former BP supervisors are facing 22 counts of negligent manslaughter charges.”

         “Big $#%&ing deal.  I didn’t do $#%&.  We want our $#%&ing $4.5 billion back.  It’s OURS, you dumb $#%&ing $%#&head Justice Department $#%&s.”

         “All three say they’ll fight the charges.”

         “Didn’t this $#%&ing Government $#%& us enough with the subprime $#%&ing mortgages and the $#%&ing bailouts?”

         “The National Fish and Wildlife Foundation gets $2.4 billion, $350 million goes to the National Academy of Sciences, fines come to $1.3 billion, and there’s a $525 million civil penalty from the Securities and Excuses Commission.”

         “$#%& them too.”

         “The National Fish and Wildlife Foundation?”

         “$#%& the National Fish and Wildlife Foundation.  It’s my $#%&ing shareholder savings.”

         “But, Oakley, the National Academy of Sciences?”

         “$#%& the National Academy of Sciences.  The$#%&ing $#%&ers are stealing MY money.  $#%&ers.”

         "And the SEC?  What about the SEC, Oakley?"

         "$#%& them too.  $#%& the SEC most of all.  $#%&ing &%#$heads."

         “Well, I’ll tell you what the MacDougal Post thinks, Doctor Brookmall.  Everyone here at Global Headquarters agrees that those 3 BP supervisors are scapegoats.  And BP shareholders are getting swindled by stooges for the 1% inside the United States Government.  The fabulously-wealthy criminally-corrupt who get fabulously wealthy by pilfering our savings through “stock options” never get held responsible for their felonious activities while their bought-and-paid-for Government goes after the victims of their crimes, victims whom they put in the wrong place at the wrong time.  That’s what The MacDougal Post thinks, Oakley.”

         “$#%& The MacDougal Post.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.”

         “Oh, by the way.  I have an appointment this week.  When am I supposed to come in.  Do you remember?”

         “$#%& you and your $#%&ing appointment.  Friday at 5PM.”

         “Okay, see you then.”

         “$#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  $#%&.  Okay.”