Democratic Congressmen
Save Trees
Save Whales
Social Issues
Union Stuff
Black Stuff
Latino Stuff
Senior Stuff
Immigrant Stuff
Gay Stuff
Poor People Stuff
Sick People Stuff
Tax Rich People
Republican Congressmen
Save Capital Punishment
Rich People Stuff
Tax Union Workers, Blacks, Latinos, Seniors,
Gays, Poor People, and Sick People,
And Don’t Let Any of them Vote
Shoot Illegal Immigrants
Faith-Based Initiatives
War
Guns
Ammo
Waterboarding
Kill Umamacare
Kill Medicare
Kill Social Security
Kill Entitlements, Other
Kill Collective Bargaining
Dismantle Government
Debt Ceiling Photo Ops - Daily with
More to Come Next December
President
Change Something Big
Voters
Jobs
It‘s easy to come up with people who‘d want to vote for some agenda position, and why, but we‘re pretty sure it’s mostly a matter of voting against things rather than for any of this. Many, we think, simply cast their ballots against the voters who’re voting against them. How the process can possibly survive is beyond us.
July 30, 2011
July 29, 2011
Breaking News
The U.S. economy grew only 1.3% in the second quarter, less than expected as consumer spending barely rose after Emma Watson left Brown University and growth braked sharply amid press coverage of previously uncovered cleavage, which caused widespread gawking, according to accounts released this morning.
Elsewhere, we just learned that Chinese ratings house Dagong Global Credit Rating Co. Ltd has already downgraded U.S. Treasury Debt twice in recent months, from whatever to AA-, then to A+, claiming that Washington has officially been defaulting for a while now by depreciating the value of the Dollar in foreign currency markets. The revaluation has been eroding the wealth of creditors, including China, Dagong explained.
Apparently news of the ratings change took its time getting over here, arriving late last night by container ship to Vancouver.
The stock market dipped this morning in reaction to something, and this sure beats what Reuters came up with explaining it.
Elsewhere, we just learned that Chinese ratings house Dagong Global Credit Rating Co. Ltd has already downgraded U.S. Treasury Debt twice in recent months, from whatever to AA-, then to A+, claiming that Washington has officially been defaulting for a while now by depreciating the value of the Dollar in foreign currency markets. The revaluation has been eroding the wealth of creditors, including China, Dagong explained.
Apparently news of the ratings change took its time getting over here, arriving late last night by container ship to Vancouver.
The stock market dipped this morning in reaction to something, and this sure beats what Reuters came up with explaining it.
Secret Agendas
Republican Congressmen
Take Bribes from Corporate Plutocracy
Labeled “Campaign Contributions”
Label Bribing Foreign Officials “Bribing Foreign Officials”
Enable Plutocracy Stuff
Support Other Rich People Stuff
Oppose Everybody Else’s Stuff
Democratic Congressmen
Take Bribes from Corporate Plutocracy
Labeled “Campaign Contributions”
Label Bribing Foreign Officials “Bribing Foreign Officials”
Enable Plutocracy Stuff
Oppose Other Rich People Stuff
Support Everybody Else’s Stuff
President
Keep the Missus Happy
Fresh Ghetto Fruits and Vegetables
Corporate Plutocrats
Create Chaos
War
Rancor
Civil Unrest
Financial Disarray
Overpriced Knicks Tickets
Loot the Company Salary Pool
Pilfer Stockholder Shares
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Don’t you say a word. They’re secret.
Take Bribes from Corporate Plutocracy
Labeled “Campaign Contributions”
Label Bribing Foreign Officials “Bribing Foreign Officials”
Enable Plutocracy Stuff
Support Other Rich People Stuff
Oppose Everybody Else’s Stuff
Democratic Congressmen
Take Bribes from Corporate Plutocracy
Labeled “Campaign Contributions”
Label Bribing Foreign Officials “Bribing Foreign Officials”
Enable Plutocracy Stuff
Oppose Other Rich People Stuff
Support Everybody Else’s Stuff
President
Keep the Missus Happy
Fresh Ghetto Fruits and Vegetables
Corporate Plutocrats
Create Chaos
War
Rancor
Civil Unrest
Financial Disarray
Overpriced Knicks Tickets
Loot the Company Salary Pool
Pilfer Stockholder Shares
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Don’t you say a word. They’re secret.
July 27, 2011
AA Treasuries
In case any of our readers missed it, a guy at Fallutin National Bank estimates that the cost of maintaining the Federal debt would jump by as much as 70 basis points were the credit rating on Treasuries to drop a notch to AA from AAA. That's around $100 billion a year on the $14.3 trillion ceiling they're all trying to raise. Though the interest rate hike would only effect new offerings and the cost of maturing obligations upon rollover, investors would take an immediate hit in market price.
Once the full impact settled in, this ratings cut would reduce the $2 trillion budget savings one of the two dunderheads expects to get over the next decade by substantially more than $1 trillion every decade, adjusted for compounding, decade in and decade out.
Most disgusted observers, including ours here at The Post, feel that the rating change would reflect a dramatic deterioration in the quality of governance, not the numbers, and expect it to happen whether the ceiling gets bumped up or not. Most of that disgust reflects the stupidity of aligned voters hell bent on returning these morons to office no matter now ridiculous this thing gets.
Once the full impact settled in, this ratings cut would reduce the $2 trillion budget savings one of the two dunderheads expects to get over the next decade by substantially more than $1 trillion every decade, adjusted for compounding, decade in and decade out.
Most disgusted observers, including ours here at The Post, feel that the rating change would reflect a dramatic deterioration in the quality of governance, not the numbers, and expect it to happen whether the ceiling gets bumped up or not. Most of that disgust reflects the stupidity of aligned voters hell bent on returning these morons to office no matter now ridiculous this thing gets.
July 26, 2011
Hullabaloo
The way our ruling class of corporate elites kneads politics to prevent the central political issue of our time from getting identified, let alone addressed, is downright Satanic.
The minions are skimming our shares. Pilfering a little here and a lot there every business day for more than 30 years now has transferred all the money your family had in the stock market on December 31, 1980 from your pockets into theirs. And it’s still going on.
These gangsters own the media, so you don’t hear about this there. Washington is bribed with “campaign contributions”, and our paid-for politicians just keep making things worse.
As for the debt ceiling falderal, that’s simply another deception, the latest in a continuing stream of nonsensical illusions, trick pitches designed to take your eye off the ball.
Hey, anything to keep the National Consciousness preoccupied for a month.
All that’s going on in this country today is the theft of the electorate’s family savings through equity compensation racketeering, and the electorate is too math-challenged to realize that, let alone do something about it.
Forget the hullabaloo. Vote them all out in 2012.
Every stinking one.
The minions are skimming our shares. Pilfering a little here and a lot there every business day for more than 30 years now has transferred all the money your family had in the stock market on December 31, 1980 from your pockets into theirs. And it’s still going on.
These gangsters own the media, so you don’t hear about this there. Washington is bribed with “campaign contributions”, and our paid-for politicians just keep making things worse.
As for the debt ceiling falderal, that’s simply another deception, the latest in a continuing stream of nonsensical illusions, trick pitches designed to take your eye off the ball.
Hey, anything to keep the National Consciousness preoccupied for a month.
All that’s going on in this country today is the theft of the electorate’s family savings through equity compensation racketeering, and the electorate is too math-challenged to realize that, let alone do something about it.
Forget the hullabaloo. Vote them all out in 2012.
Every stinking one.
July 22, 2011
Iconic Multinational Behemoth Theme
The iconic corporate behemoth thrives on bad times. While its earnings get chopped along with everyone else’s in an economic downturn, behind the numbers this typically beloved colossus is busy repositioning itself at the expense of smaller, weaker competitors. Fortified with rock solid finances, superior management, a winning business model, brand loyalty that can border on adoration - to wit, Harley-Davidson and John Deere - any behemoth worthy of icon status is a voracious bottom feeder.
The recent Global Financial Apocalypse dredged the iconic behemoth investment theme to the surface once again. When the ensuing depression ended, it was thought, these guys would be emerging fatter and healthier than ever. The added multinational touch was new this time, sprung from a spate of political insanity hitherto unseen in America. First, there was the spectacularly irresponsible Republican fiscal agenda, fighting wars on tax cuts, leaving the nation with a deficit the symbolic size of Mount Rushmore. Concurrently came the remarkably clueless Democratic push to manipulate the nation’s financial institutions into lending money to people without any money. It became tough to see how any large company could go much of anywhere only doing business in this beaten, punchdrunk country.
Caterpillar reported second quarter 2012 results before the market opened today. In the earnings release, Chairman and CEO Doug Oberhelman indicated why the argument for investing in multinationals has been going the iconic multinational behemoth’s way for almost three years now.
“Economic activity and our business in Latin America, the Middle East, Africa, CIS and greater Asia are robust …. While we expect moderate U.S. economic growth, we believe a lack of confidence in the business climate is the major impediment to a stronger recovery and job creation. Lack of clarity on a U.S. deficit reduction plan, trade policy, regulation, much needed tax reform and the absence of a long-term plan to improve the country’s deteriorating infrastructure do not create an environment that provides our customers with the confidence to invest. We’re confident that as a country we’ll eventually get it right, and we’re positioning Caterpillar to be ready when we do.”
No one could’ve put it any better.
The recent Global Financial Apocalypse dredged the iconic behemoth investment theme to the surface once again. When the ensuing depression ended, it was thought, these guys would be emerging fatter and healthier than ever. The added multinational touch was new this time, sprung from a spate of political insanity hitherto unseen in America. First, there was the spectacularly irresponsible Republican fiscal agenda, fighting wars on tax cuts, leaving the nation with a deficit the symbolic size of Mount Rushmore. Concurrently came the remarkably clueless Democratic push to manipulate the nation’s financial institutions into lending money to people without any money. It became tough to see how any large company could go much of anywhere only doing business in this beaten, punchdrunk country.
Caterpillar reported second quarter 2012 results before the market opened today. In the earnings release, Chairman and CEO Doug Oberhelman indicated why the argument for investing in multinationals has been going the iconic multinational behemoth’s way for almost three years now.
“Economic activity and our business in Latin America, the Middle East, Africa, CIS and greater Asia are robust …. While we expect moderate U.S. economic growth, we believe a lack of confidence in the business climate is the major impediment to a stronger recovery and job creation. Lack of clarity on a U.S. deficit reduction plan, trade policy, regulation, much needed tax reform and the absence of a long-term plan to improve the country’s deteriorating infrastructure do not create an environment that provides our customers with the confidence to invest. We’re confident that as a country we’ll eventually get it right, and we’re positioning Caterpillar to be ready when we do.”
No one could’ve put it any better.
July 21, 2011
The Presidential Missus
Less than three years ago, financial Armageddon, wrought by reckless, myopic, political ninnies strong-arming the mortgage industry into financing houses for people who don’t buy houses, brought down the civilized world and Iceland, not to mention our common stock portfolios. Now Mrs. Blatant Umama announces that she has strong-armed businesses into bringing fresh fruits and vegetables to people who don’t buy fresh fruits and vegetables.
Who knows how this reckless, myopic political ninny did it, but companies like Wal-Mart and Walgreens as well as some we never heard of will now be selling where no company has sold before.
When will we ever learn?
The MacDougal Post again calls for the immediate impeachment of Blatant Umama as well as the publication of that Princeton thesis, or whatever it was, written by the missus, purportedly warning us voters about this kind of calamari before it ever had a chance to start hitting the fan.
God only knows how this one is going to end.
Who knows how this reckless, myopic political ninny did it, but companies like Wal-Mart and Walgreens as well as some we never heard of will now be selling where no company has sold before.
When will we ever learn?
The MacDougal Post again calls for the immediate impeachment of Blatant Umama as well as the publication of that Princeton thesis, or whatever it was, written by the missus, purportedly warning us voters about this kind of calamari before it ever had a chance to start hitting the fan.
God only knows how this one is going to end.
Modern Warfare
A couple of nights ago, some TV correspondent covering the battle for Tripoli reported that he was embedded with rebel forces in the battle zone. Seven Arab rednecks in a Dodge pickup formed up with three more pickups - two Fords and a Chevy - and their Arab rednecks, and headed for a rocky hilltop tucked below higher rocky hilltops in the distance. One of our Arab rednecks pulled out a grenade launcher, a second helped with the ammo, and the two attacked Tripoli while everyone else stood around with automatic weapons dangling from one hand, and smoked cigarettes and watched.
At least we assume it was Tripoli. All you could actually see in the direction they were shooting at from our rocky hilltop was the higher rocky hilltops in the distance. Then another grenade launcher team ambled into action, and you could tell from all the body language with the automatic weapons and the cigarettes that the rebels were really bringing it now.
TV guy lamented that NATO wasn’t coordinating their aerial support with the Arab rednecks on the ground, so rebel forces couldn’t get out every day, but it didn’t look like these rebel forces were too worried about anybody shooting back this time.
According to the NATO website, member countries spent slightly more than $1 trillion on defense in 2010. The Arab rednecks supplied their own attack vehicles and got the weaponry for free, looting it from some stockpile.
We counted more troops - though mainly vets and more than a few reservists - at last November’s annual church Turkey Shoot here in Logano, Tennessee.
Maybe the boys ought to take Tripoli this year instead.
At least we assume it was Tripoli. All you could actually see in the direction they were shooting at from our rocky hilltop was the higher rocky hilltops in the distance. Then another grenade launcher team ambled into action, and you could tell from all the body language with the automatic weapons and the cigarettes that the rebels were really bringing it now.
TV guy lamented that NATO wasn’t coordinating their aerial support with the Arab rednecks on the ground, so rebel forces couldn’t get out every day, but it didn’t look like these rebel forces were too worried about anybody shooting back this time.
According to the NATO website, member countries spent slightly more than $1 trillion on defense in 2010. The Arab rednecks supplied their own attack vehicles and got the weaponry for free, looting it from some stockpile.
We counted more troops - though mainly vets and more than a few reservists - at last November’s annual church Turkey Shoot here in Logano, Tennessee.
Maybe the boys ought to take Tripoli this year instead.
July 19, 2011
Heinie and the Japs
Sticking with iconic behemoths has been one investment theme that’s made sense to us since the latest financial apocalypse. Limiting one's efforts to multinationals is another. Domestic outfits tie an investor to the devastated US single family housing market, a seemingly bottomless pit, as well as our financially sinking ship of state and the potentially catastrophic inflationary and currency ramifications there.
Coca-Cola (KO) and Bank of America (BAC) both reported second quarter 2011 operations this morning. Their contrasting results bolster the multinational argument. KO boosted operating income by 15% over the prior year, with slow, dependable volume growth most places, plus burgeoning increases in a few (China +21%), and benefited from a notable currency push. BAC lost something under $9 billion on volume that fell 54% year-to-year because of yet another “one-time” charge, this one-timer apparently related to a lawsuit over bundling worthless paper together and saying that bundling somehow entitles worthless bundles to an AAA rating.
KO management pointed out that their company has been increasing shareholder value slowly and steadily for 125 years. BAC hasn’t said much of anything we’d want to pass along for almost 3 now.
Clearly, The American Dream has proven to be fiction, the mortgage contract merely this creepy device that lets you, in effect, rent from the real homeowner, one’s bank, during good times, and grab the price appreciation then too. When things sour, however, you walk away, sticking that real homeowner with a waning asset until time or taxpayer bails the moribund institution out.
Both Great Depressions have shown us that.
If history offers any clue about BAC’s future, remember this. We pulled out of the 1930’s by shipping our unemployed overseas to get shot by Heinie and the Japs.
KO or BAC represent both sides of the iconic multinational behemoth argument. That’s going well now for the iconic multinational behemoths, but what will the future bring?
Is it about over for KO, comparatively speaking? Will BAC finally hit bedrock somewhere around here?
The decision is up to you.
Coca-Cola (KO) and Bank of America (BAC) both reported second quarter 2011 operations this morning. Their contrasting results bolster the multinational argument. KO boosted operating income by 15% over the prior year, with slow, dependable volume growth most places, plus burgeoning increases in a few (China +21%), and benefited from a notable currency push. BAC lost something under $9 billion on volume that fell 54% year-to-year because of yet another “one-time” charge, this one-timer apparently related to a lawsuit over bundling worthless paper together and saying that bundling somehow entitles worthless bundles to an AAA rating.
KO management pointed out that their company has been increasing shareholder value slowly and steadily for 125 years. BAC hasn’t said much of anything we’d want to pass along for almost 3 now.
Clearly, The American Dream has proven to be fiction, the mortgage contract merely this creepy device that lets you, in effect, rent from the real homeowner, one’s bank, during good times, and grab the price appreciation then too. When things sour, however, you walk away, sticking that real homeowner with a waning asset until time or taxpayer bails the moribund institution out.
Both Great Depressions have shown us that.
If history offers any clue about BAC’s future, remember this. We pulled out of the 1930’s by shipping our unemployed overseas to get shot by Heinie and the Japs.
KO or BAC represent both sides of the iconic multinational behemoth argument. That’s going well now for the iconic multinational behemoths, but what will the future bring?
Is it about over for KO, comparatively speaking? Will BAC finally hit bedrock somewhere around here?
The decision is up to you.
July 15, 2011
On Further Reflection
After a good mulling over, we reaffirm our conclusion that Blatant Umama is bent on destroying Capitalism with his condition that, for Federal Income Tax calculation, any debt ceiling settlement has to kill the Last In First Out (LIFO) method of accounting for business inventories and cost of goods sold. There is no other way to look at it. This Muslim-reared Black Supremacist Christian is not stupid, and has every mind in the nation at his disposal.
Politics in this country is conducted as if we, the electorate, are a clueless pack of blithering idiots. Good Umama figures he can sneak Bad Umama into the fray undetected, strap an accounting bomb to his chest, and blow our gun-toting redneck way of life to smithereens, all the while getting off on telling us math-disadvantaged numbskulls exactly how he’s planning to do it. To forthright men of numbers, that is the only conceivable explanation.
And make no mistake about it, like he actually said, the Charlatan-in Chief is more than willing to take his Presidency down with him. That’s what terrorists do, for hullabaloo sakes. Blow themselves up in the process.
You name a substitute for LIFO, and it will bloat corporate profits under the kind of supercharged inflationary pressure that deficit spending ultimately generates. In the worst of such times, anything but LIFO overstates taxable income to the point where management would have to start liquidating assets to foot Uncle Sam’s fraudulent bill.
One way or another, our CPA’s cherished profession would restate earnings so that CEO’s, investors, creditors, and whatnots could grasp the real picture, but the prospect of jail would bar his guys from reporting appropriate results to Umama’s IRS pit bulls.
Just as corporate elites have deployed numbers to fleece your savings with “stock options” that are no such thing, their paid-for political stooge has now turned on the hand that feeds him, seizing a rare opportunity to digitize the disembowelment of company financials by taxing profits that simply do not exist.
This does not sit well with the staff at your MacDougal Post. Of particular concern is the extent to which the IRS hired and promoted Blacks under Affirmative Action while we were actually working there. Snuck them into line supervisory positions from administrative functions and other offices because they were preposterously unqualified to compete for the jobs they got silver spooned into. Is there a cadre of sneaky Muslim-reared Black Supremacist Christians in place at the Agency now to comprise a loyal death squad, effortlessly razing Capitalism for good?
Maybe that’s what Affirmative Action was all about in the first place. Not just making you work for Ghetto trash. Setting them up to destroy the entire White culture.
Racists who get a free pass on their own racism and jump all over anybody who notices.
In our opinion, Mitch McConnell has to be recognized as a national hero for refusing to do any kind of business at all with an accounting terrorist. Post readers should be able to at least appreciate why the Great Republican’s gotta not do what he’s gotta not do, even those of you up in the Northeast Corridor who’ve stopped reading today's blog by now.
As a subscriber noted the other day, what used to be, to us anyway, Far Right rantings about Umama’s attack on Whitey, has morphed into a centrist issue with this LIFO thing strapped to Blatant’s budgetary vest.
Paul Revere used numbers to tell a people whether the enemy was coming by land or by sea. Today our nation is under attack by the numbers themselves, and you can forget about land or sea. As The MacDougal Post has just warned you, this time they‘re getting detonated by an accounting terrorist from inside the dadblanged Oval Office.
Politics in this country is conducted as if we, the electorate, are a clueless pack of blithering idiots. Good Umama figures he can sneak Bad Umama into the fray undetected, strap an accounting bomb to his chest, and blow our gun-toting redneck way of life to smithereens, all the while getting off on telling us math-disadvantaged numbskulls exactly how he’s planning to do it. To forthright men of numbers, that is the only conceivable explanation.
And make no mistake about it, like he actually said, the Charlatan-in Chief is more than willing to take his Presidency down with him. That’s what terrorists do, for hullabaloo sakes. Blow themselves up in the process.
You name a substitute for LIFO, and it will bloat corporate profits under the kind of supercharged inflationary pressure that deficit spending ultimately generates. In the worst of such times, anything but LIFO overstates taxable income to the point where management would have to start liquidating assets to foot Uncle Sam’s fraudulent bill.
One way or another, our CPA’s cherished profession would restate earnings so that CEO’s, investors, creditors, and whatnots could grasp the real picture, but the prospect of jail would bar his guys from reporting appropriate results to Umama’s IRS pit bulls.
Just as corporate elites have deployed numbers to fleece your savings with “stock options” that are no such thing, their paid-for political stooge has now turned on the hand that feeds him, seizing a rare opportunity to digitize the disembowelment of company financials by taxing profits that simply do not exist.
This does not sit well with the staff at your MacDougal Post. Of particular concern is the extent to which the IRS hired and promoted Blacks under Affirmative Action while we were actually working there. Snuck them into line supervisory positions from administrative functions and other offices because they were preposterously unqualified to compete for the jobs they got silver spooned into. Is there a cadre of sneaky Muslim-reared Black Supremacist Christians in place at the Agency now to comprise a loyal death squad, effortlessly razing Capitalism for good?
Maybe that’s what Affirmative Action was all about in the first place. Not just making you work for Ghetto trash. Setting them up to destroy the entire White culture.
Racists who get a free pass on their own racism and jump all over anybody who notices.
In our opinion, Mitch McConnell has to be recognized as a national hero for refusing to do any kind of business at all with an accounting terrorist. Post readers should be able to at least appreciate why the Great Republican’s gotta not do what he’s gotta not do, even those of you up in the Northeast Corridor who’ve stopped reading today's blog by now.
As a subscriber noted the other day, what used to be, to us anyway, Far Right rantings about Umama’s attack on Whitey, has morphed into a centrist issue with this LIFO thing strapped to Blatant’s budgetary vest.
Paul Revere used numbers to tell a people whether the enemy was coming by land or by sea. Today our nation is under attack by the numbers themselves, and you can forget about land or sea. As The MacDougal Post has just warned you, this time they‘re getting detonated by an accounting terrorist from inside the dadblanged Oval Office.
July 13, 2011
LIFO
Inflation is coming, and your company accounts for its inventory under the Last In First Out (LIFO) method. Lets say prices double between 2012 and 2013, and you sell the same number of units in both years, 1 million thingies. You get $10 per thingie in 2012 and $20 in 2013, and buy them at wholesale for $8 in 2012 and $18 the next year. You keep a large inventory, more thingies than you sell in a year.
Under LIFO, your 2013 profit is $2 million, or ($20-18) x 1 million units. Current costs are matched against current sales prices.
According to this morning’s New York Times, Blatant Umama wants to eliminate LIFO. Under the most widely used alternative method, First in First Out (FIFO), old costs get matched against current sales prices, and your 2013 profit would be recorded as $12 million, or ($20-8) x 1 million units.
The taxes on this miscalculation would put you out of business.
Blatant, the Times tells us, says LIFO is arcane. That is a flat out lie. LIFO is the only way my profession can produce books that make sense out of what he and his ilk are doing to this politically ravaged nation.
The man is proposing the destruction of gamed market Capitalism itself. Hey, it's gamed, but it's the only Capitalism we've got. The MacDougal Post calls for his immediate impeachment.
Go over the numbers again. There isn’t a minute to lose.
Under LIFO, your 2013 profit is $2 million, or ($20-18) x 1 million units. Current costs are matched against current sales prices.
According to this morning’s New York Times, Blatant Umama wants to eliminate LIFO. Under the most widely used alternative method, First in First Out (FIFO), old costs get matched against current sales prices, and your 2013 profit would be recorded as $12 million, or ($20-8) x 1 million units.
The taxes on this miscalculation would put you out of business.
Blatant, the Times tells us, says LIFO is arcane. That is a flat out lie. LIFO is the only way my profession can produce books that make sense out of what he and his ilk are doing to this politically ravaged nation.
The man is proposing the destruction of gamed market Capitalism itself. Hey, it's gamed, but it's the only Capitalism we've got. The MacDougal Post calls for his immediate impeachment.
Go over the numbers again. There isn’t a minute to lose.
July 12, 2011
Uno Mas
A lot of smart baseball played here comes out of the Dominican Republic, and last night’s Home Run Derby proved to be no exception. Credit that to the winner's father.
Jose Cano, former Astro’s pitcher, threw batting practice (BP) to son Robinson Cano, named after Jackie Robinson, as if the rest of this story wasn’t cool enough already. You couldn’t help concluding that Jose staged this show.
The field of eight hitters got whittled down to four so pathetically fast Chris Berman and them danced around questioning why the rest even got picked. The derby is not something anyone practices for. These guys spend their lives trying not to pop up. Here you want to. It’s a whole other thing.
We suspect contestants would do a lot better laying off the first ten strikes they want to swing at, giving the pitcher time to settle in. A few inches here and there makes all the difference in the world in BP, and we’d just like to see what would happen if the hurlers got in a couple dozen good real-time warm-up tosses.
The remaining field of four had been narrowed to two way before the gates even opened once David Ortiz and Prince Fielder decided they were going to drop down in the strike zone, calling for low pitches. The closer a pitch is to your eyes, the easier it is to hit the thing dead center. Go after balls at thigh level, and you’re telling the other all-star line drive hitters that either you’re so much better than them you swing at anything or you need a miracle to win. Sometimes peers have to be excused for assuming the latter. This time that was not the case.
The upward bat angle coming into low strikes makes the ball go very high - moon shots as Chris Berman said - but when the all-stars oohed and ahhed, that wasn’t about the height. It was because these two morons managed to hit the ball at all. Jose Cano threw to Ortiz too. Probably didn’t said a word about location. Was glad to help Big Popi fall flat on his foolish face.
The Ortiz/Fielder debacle left Adrian Gonzalez v. Robinson Cano, only because both were ordering fat high-inside strikes, the logical place to work from. They’re close to your eyes, and your arms align best high. The ball even banks off the bat for you here, rebounding more of its incoming speed outward.
Jose almost never missed. Manny Acta, Gonzo’s BP pitcher, left the ball out over the plate enough to mess with Adrian’s mind. You pull high-inside, and Gonzo found himself taking some shots into the opposite field with an inside-out swing.
That’s as discombobulating as it sounds. Robbie got to use the same stroke most every time, and could lengthen it, looking masterful. Two-stroke Gonzalez, though actually playing better ball, came off looking like a clown by comparison.
Jose won. Manny lost.
And Major League Baseball awarded Jose’s trophy to Jose's kid. Pitcher won this one, not slugger. Jose threw great BP, and really bore down. Didn’t crack a smile all contest long. When Robbie tied Gonzo at the end, Dad ran out from behind the screen to give him a great big hug.
“Uno mas,” Jose ordered, sticking an index finger in the air. The kid nodded, then popped one more into the seats, and the title was his. Jose’s, we mean.
Because it truly, truly was. Jose Cano pulled this win off like the championship father he obviously is.
Expect Baseball Czar Bud Selig to ban dads from participating in Home Run Derbies after the winter meetings.
Jose Cano, former Astro’s pitcher, threw batting practice (BP) to son Robinson Cano, named after Jackie Robinson, as if the rest of this story wasn’t cool enough already. You couldn’t help concluding that Jose staged this show.
The field of eight hitters got whittled down to four so pathetically fast Chris Berman and them danced around questioning why the rest even got picked. The derby is not something anyone practices for. These guys spend their lives trying not to pop up. Here you want to. It’s a whole other thing.
We suspect contestants would do a lot better laying off the first ten strikes they want to swing at, giving the pitcher time to settle in. A few inches here and there makes all the difference in the world in BP, and we’d just like to see what would happen if the hurlers got in a couple dozen good real-time warm-up tosses.
The remaining field of four had been narrowed to two way before the gates even opened once David Ortiz and Prince Fielder decided they were going to drop down in the strike zone, calling for low pitches. The closer a pitch is to your eyes, the easier it is to hit the thing dead center. Go after balls at thigh level, and you’re telling the other all-star line drive hitters that either you’re so much better than them you swing at anything or you need a miracle to win. Sometimes peers have to be excused for assuming the latter. This time that was not the case.
The upward bat angle coming into low strikes makes the ball go very high - moon shots as Chris Berman said - but when the all-stars oohed and ahhed, that wasn’t about the height. It was because these two morons managed to hit the ball at all. Jose Cano threw to Ortiz too. Probably didn’t said a word about location. Was glad to help Big Popi fall flat on his foolish face.
The Ortiz/Fielder debacle left Adrian Gonzalez v. Robinson Cano, only because both were ordering fat high-inside strikes, the logical place to work from. They’re close to your eyes, and your arms align best high. The ball even banks off the bat for you here, rebounding more of its incoming speed outward.
Jose almost never missed. Manny Acta, Gonzo’s BP pitcher, left the ball out over the plate enough to mess with Adrian’s mind. You pull high-inside, and Gonzo found himself taking some shots into the opposite field with an inside-out swing.
That’s as discombobulating as it sounds. Robbie got to use the same stroke most every time, and could lengthen it, looking masterful. Two-stroke Gonzalez, though actually playing better ball, came off looking like a clown by comparison.
Jose won. Manny lost.
And Major League Baseball awarded Jose’s trophy to Jose's kid. Pitcher won this one, not slugger. Jose threw great BP, and really bore down. Didn’t crack a smile all contest long. When Robbie tied Gonzo at the end, Dad ran out from behind the screen to give him a great big hug.
“Uno mas,” Jose ordered, sticking an index finger in the air. The kid nodded, then popped one more into the seats, and the title was his. Jose’s, we mean.
Because it truly, truly was. Jose Cano pulled this win off like the championship father he obviously is.
Expect Baseball Czar Bud Selig to ban dads from participating in Home Run Derbies after the winter meetings.
July 10, 2011
The Presidency
Gird yourself for the worst. Blatant Umama hasn’t reached a compromise on squat since he sat in the front of the bus. Why should we look for one now?
Maybe it’s living in the Deep South, but this longstanding Congressional Republican refusal to govern has always begged another question, and now that they’re hell bent on destroying your credit standing, you all might want to ask it under your breath like everyone here does.
Is John Boehner and the pack of them denying this guy the ability to execute the duties of his office because he’s Black? Excuse us for believing that a settlement could be reached if Umama just went away and let Joe Biden step in to take the credit, but Boehner‘s own words head our thoughts off in that likely direction.
It looks for all the world like House Republicans have drawn a line in the political sand, telling the country Democrats went too far this time stuffing their anti-White male Affirmative Action snake oil down our throats. From the get-go, people driven to speak publicly about it felt that the Black Supremacist Church thing was way more than a step too far. Maybe theirs has been the voice of Middle America all along.
If so, then the Liberal press has been emasculated on this one. It’s politically incorrect for them to even raise the Black Presidency issue, let alone deal with it. And the Conservative isn't going to raise it aloud for them.
Racial stuff has always been pursued under wraps. To anyone who lived here seventy years ago, what’s not going on in the National Conversation today, coupled with what’s not going on in these House/Executive Branch non-compromises smells awful familiar. Don’t expect the good ole boys to tell you what they’re up to. They won’t. Never have, never will. You've got to work it out for yourself.
Whatever, if enough Americans flat out refuse to accept a Muslim-reared Black Supremacist as their President, then clearly we shouldn’t have one. Our blogger wonders how many Independents will opt to dump Umama rather than continue down this outrageous self-destructive path, even though it’s a path made Umama's by John Boehner’s choosing.
Screw the moral high road. We’ve got a train wreck on our hands. That’s what Boehner and the pack of them are telling us here at your MacDougal Post as we hunker down tight, getting ready to live through it.
And we’re still voting against everybody in 2012. Every-freaking-body, Black, White, and Mulatto, or whatever they‘re supposed to be called these days, if anything.
As the working force shifted from maybe forty-something percent unpaid female homemakers raising kids in the 1940’s to maybe forty-something percent of all kinds un/underemployed now, what is the percentage of young White males who've lost their jobs to Blacks and females through Affirmative Action? Is it forty-something yet? Has the shift been made complete?
Those jobs were stolen from somebody by a political act. Mathematically, it had to be White males. There’s nobody else left. Conservatives always knew that. Liberals have always been pussy-whipped into denial. Maybe this is how that issue moves onto center stage too.
Ever-present, unspoken, and dripping with the blood of families long since rent asunder by egregious Liberal inhumanity to their fellow White male man.
Maybe it’s living in the Deep South, but this longstanding Congressional Republican refusal to govern has always begged another question, and now that they’re hell bent on destroying your credit standing, you all might want to ask it under your breath like everyone here does.
Is John Boehner and the pack of them denying this guy the ability to execute the duties of his office because he’s Black? Excuse us for believing that a settlement could be reached if Umama just went away and let Joe Biden step in to take the credit, but Boehner‘s own words head our thoughts off in that likely direction.
It looks for all the world like House Republicans have drawn a line in the political sand, telling the country Democrats went too far this time stuffing their anti-White male Affirmative Action snake oil down our throats. From the get-go, people driven to speak publicly about it felt that the Black Supremacist Church thing was way more than a step too far. Maybe theirs has been the voice of Middle America all along.
If so, then the Liberal press has been emasculated on this one. It’s politically incorrect for them to even raise the Black Presidency issue, let alone deal with it. And the Conservative isn't going to raise it aloud for them.
Racial stuff has always been pursued under wraps. To anyone who lived here seventy years ago, what’s not going on in the National Conversation today, coupled with what’s not going on in these House/Executive Branch non-compromises smells awful familiar. Don’t expect the good ole boys to tell you what they’re up to. They won’t. Never have, never will. You've got to work it out for yourself.
Whatever, if enough Americans flat out refuse to accept a Muslim-reared Black Supremacist as their President, then clearly we shouldn’t have one. Our blogger wonders how many Independents will opt to dump Umama rather than continue down this outrageous self-destructive path, even though it’s a path made Umama's by John Boehner’s choosing.
Screw the moral high road. We’ve got a train wreck on our hands. That’s what Boehner and the pack of them are telling us here at your MacDougal Post as we hunker down tight, getting ready to live through it.
And we’re still voting against everybody in 2012. Every-freaking-body, Black, White, and Mulatto, or whatever they‘re supposed to be called these days, if anything.
As the working force shifted from maybe forty-something percent unpaid female homemakers raising kids in the 1940’s to maybe forty-something percent of all kinds un/underemployed now, what is the percentage of young White males who've lost their jobs to Blacks and females through Affirmative Action? Is it forty-something yet? Has the shift been made complete?
Those jobs were stolen from somebody by a political act. Mathematically, it had to be White males. There’s nobody else left. Conservatives always knew that. Liberals have always been pussy-whipped into denial. Maybe this is how that issue moves onto center stage too.
Ever-present, unspoken, and dripping with the blood of families long since rent asunder by egregious Liberal inhumanity to their fellow White male man.
July 9, 2011
Home Run Derby
The 2011 Some Stupid Insurance Company Home Run Derby with Chris Berman will be telecast on ESPN at 8 PM Eastern Monday night. It’s required viewing for MacDougal Post fathers who play ball with their kids.
Your kid doesn’t want a dad on the diamond. He’s already got one of those back at the house. What your kid needs on the diamond is a real batting practice (BP) pitcher. One who puts the ball in his wheelhouse on every toss.
WHEELHOUSE on EVERY toss. That’s way beyond merely throwing strikes, Pops.
So forget the home runs at the 2011 Some Stupid Insurance Company Home Run Derby with Chris Berman on ESPN. Let the kid watch those. You’re taking in the show to see how BP pitching is thrown.
All kids are great hitters, if we give them what they need. And that includes great BP pitching.
If he’s less than awesome with the bat, it’s on you, not him. Superstardom at the plate has everything to do with what a kid’s BP pitcher makes him practice on. Keep putting it, as they say, there, and he’ll eventually work out how to line it back.
Here at the Post we usually end up viewing to see whether or not the winners have better pitching. Since everybody brings his own, the competition seems inherently unfair. If someone's old high school coach freezes up, you'd think that would have to cost his batter any chance of winning. And one pitcher having a really great day would have to make some kind of a difference. Plus we've thrown enough BP to identify with these guys. The real story has to be about them pitching in front of tens of thousands of screaming spectators. Should a familiar baseball name head out to the screen, we'll get awfully suspicious.
(Note: Sometimes these derby sluggers won't swing until they're ready, even when it's there, and that's part of what every hitter has to be doing too. Get over it now. Some day the kid will start pulling this shinola on you.)
Your kid doesn’t want a dad on the diamond. He’s already got one of those back at the house. What your kid needs on the diamond is a real batting practice (BP) pitcher. One who puts the ball in his wheelhouse on every toss.
WHEELHOUSE on EVERY toss. That’s way beyond merely throwing strikes, Pops.
So forget the home runs at the 2011 Some Stupid Insurance Company Home Run Derby with Chris Berman on ESPN. Let the kid watch those. You’re taking in the show to see how BP pitching is thrown.
All kids are great hitters, if we give them what they need. And that includes great BP pitching.
If he’s less than awesome with the bat, it’s on you, not him. Superstardom at the plate has everything to do with what a kid’s BP pitcher makes him practice on. Keep putting it, as they say, there, and he’ll eventually work out how to line it back.
Here at the Post we usually end up viewing to see whether or not the winners have better pitching. Since everybody brings his own, the competition seems inherently unfair. If someone's old high school coach freezes up, you'd think that would have to cost his batter any chance of winning. And one pitcher having a really great day would have to make some kind of a difference. Plus we've thrown enough BP to identify with these guys. The real story has to be about them pitching in front of tens of thousands of screaming spectators. Should a familiar baseball name head out to the screen, we'll get awfully suspicious.
(Note: Sometimes these derby sluggers won't swing until they're ready, even when it's there, and that's part of what every hitter has to be doing too. Get over it now. Some day the kid will start pulling this shinola on you.)
July 7, 2011
Jobs
China steals all the modern Western technology it can lure over there by partnering with foreigners, then turns around and competes against its foreign partnerships with Chinese enterprises sporting the stolen technology, its domestic provinces soon limiting areas of business done by foreign partnerships as soon as they spot any area of business done by foreign partnerships having the same technology as Chinese enterprises. After a decade of this wonton dupe and having lost all their previous whiz-bang gizmos to the inscrutable little bastard$, American companies sound like they've had enough.
Finally.
Based on a recent Reuters article, however, some American enterprises pulling out of that country today would be expected to return 83% of their previously outsourced manufacturing jobs to US robots, and only the remaining 17% to human workers.
This leaves a huge pool of our formerly employed still jobless. How are we ever going to put them back to work under these alarming new automated conditions?
Fortunately for the country, Blatant Umama's job creation skills, honed as a Chicago Ghetto activist, or whatever he was, coupled with the GOP's spellbinding success at deploying war and tax cuts to curtail municipal services, particularly in the area of state and local law enforcement, are expected to drive robust growth in selected sectors of the nation's economy during the second half of 2011.
Specifically, MacDougal Post studies indicate that new hires in the following occupations will form the centerpiece of our long-awaited economic recovery:
Drug Dealer Bank Robber Skyjacker
Drug Pusher Porn Star Street Punk
Drug Mule Pickpocket Money Launderer
Drug Kingpin Grifter Strangler
Pimp Arsonist Embezzler
Street Hustler Hijacker Crime Lord
CEO Armed Robber Purse Snatcher
Serial Killer Jewel Thief Confidence Man
CFO Cat Burglar Safecracker
Axe Murderer Investment Banker Pirate
Hit Man Gunman Mortgage Banker
Divorce Lawyer Kidnapper Identity Thief
War Criminal Dictator Commodity Trader
Short-Seller Smuggler Bully
Congressman Swindler Counterfeiter
Consigliore Slasher Forger
Extortionist Mugger Shoplifter
Fence Plagiarist Bushwhacker
Prowler Gun Runner Hooligan
Chiseler Mob Soldier Gangster
Impostor Bandit Gangsta
Racketeer Carjacker Stripper
Capo CPA Pole Dancer
Hacker Gang Banger Floozy
Landlord Card Shark Hooker
Smuggler Tax Cheat DMV Clerk
Finally.
Based on a recent Reuters article, however, some American enterprises pulling out of that country today would be expected to return 83% of their previously outsourced manufacturing jobs to US robots, and only the remaining 17% to human workers.
This leaves a huge pool of our formerly employed still jobless. How are we ever going to put them back to work under these alarming new automated conditions?
Fortunately for the country, Blatant Umama's job creation skills, honed as a Chicago Ghetto activist, or whatever he was, coupled with the GOP's spellbinding success at deploying war and tax cuts to curtail municipal services, particularly in the area of state and local law enforcement, are expected to drive robust growth in selected sectors of the nation's economy during the second half of 2011.
Specifically, MacDougal Post studies indicate that new hires in the following occupations will form the centerpiece of our long-awaited economic recovery:
Drug Dealer Bank Robber Skyjacker
Drug Pusher Porn Star Street Punk
Drug Mule Pickpocket Money Launderer
Drug Kingpin Grifter Strangler
Pimp Arsonist Embezzler
Street Hustler Hijacker Crime Lord
CEO Armed Robber Purse Snatcher
Serial Killer Jewel Thief Confidence Man
CFO Cat Burglar Safecracker
Axe Murderer Investment Banker Pirate
Hit Man Gunman Mortgage Banker
Divorce Lawyer Kidnapper Identity Thief
War Criminal Dictator Commodity Trader
Short-Seller Smuggler Bully
Congressman Swindler Counterfeiter
Consigliore Slasher Forger
Extortionist Mugger Shoplifter
Fence Plagiarist Bushwhacker
Prowler Gun Runner Hooligan
Chiseler Mob Soldier Gangster
Impostor Bandit Gangsta
Racketeer Carjacker Stripper
Capo CPA Pole Dancer
Hacker Gang Banger Floozy
Landlord Card Shark Hooker
Smuggler Tax Cheat DMV Clerk
July 1, 2011
Writing on the Wall?
As Minnesota's state government shut down at midnight this morning, the conservative Coalition Regarding Apocalyptic Politics (CRAP) rushed to offer a compromise to settle the budget gridlock between Minnehaha's Democratic governor and Republican-controlled legislature.
"Why don't we just go ahead and kill poor people?" Pastor Sven proposed in a press conference at his weapons stockpile under the Holy Mother of God Church basement in Harbinger Falls before morning bingo. "Then the Governor won't need any money, and we won't have to pay taxes at all."
"It's the reactionary thing to do."
State and local authorities said they'd pick the Republican sonofab#tch up for questioning, but state and local authorities don't have gas money right now.
"Why don't we just go ahead and kill poor people?" Pastor Sven proposed in a press conference at his weapons stockpile under the Holy Mother of God Church basement in Harbinger Falls before morning bingo. "Then the Governor won't need any money, and we won't have to pay taxes at all."
"It's the reactionary thing to do."
State and local authorities said they'd pick the Republican sonofab#tch up for questioning, but state and local authorities don't have gas money right now.
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