An inverse correlation exists between the IQ levels of the addle-brained children of the rich and the rate of decline of Western Civilization, a phenomenon that has become excruciatingly relevant since the George Weaponsofmassdestruction Bush inauguration. These morons have been screwing with our future at least since Harvard University and them were founded, and now they’re screwing with our money.
The “bitcoin”, according to today’s
definition in Wikipedia, “is a cryptocurrency first described in a 2008 paper
by pseudonymous developer Satoshi Nakamoto, who called it a peer-to-peer,
electronic cash system. Bitcoin creation
and transfer is based on an open source cryptographic protocol and is not
managed by any central authority.”
We don’t understand that either.
“Each bitcoin is subdivided down to
eight decimal places, forming 100 million smaller units called satoshis. Bitcoins can be transferred through a
computer or smartphone without an intermediate financial institution.”
We don’t understand that part at all.
“The processing of bitcoin transactions
is secured by servers called bitcoin miners.
These servers communicate over an internet-based network and confirm
transactions by adding them to a ledger which is updated and archived
periodically using peer-to-peer filesharing technology. In addition to archiving transactions, each
new ledger update creates some newly minted bitcoins. The number of new bitcoins created in each
update is halved every 4 years until the year 2140 when this number will round
down to zero. At that time no more bitcoins will be added into circulation and
the total number of bitcoins will have reached a maximum of 21 million
bitcoins.”
Clearly, for this sh!t to
have made it into your MacDougal Post, somebody’s science project has gone
horribly wrong.
“Bitcoin is accepted in trade by
merchants and individuals in many parts of the world.”
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.
It’s freaking currency, like the U.S.
greenback dollar or the Brit pound, or, even today in some uses, gold. People are paying for stuff with bitcoins. And other people are accepting bitcoins in
payment for the stuff they’re selling to them.
Crazy people, to be sure, but people
nonetheless.
Seems some addled-brained children of
the rich have become terrified because other addled-brained children of the
rich are keeping failed politicians in power by printing a flood of brand new
money (see QE 1 through 4) to finance the outrageous levels of sovereign debt
that's piling up. To address the
latter’s problem, the former came up with the bitthingy.
We’re told this cybercurrency is very
popular with drug dealers, and convenient too.
Downsides include exchange rate volatility. 2013 Prices have ranged between a high of
$266 and a low of $13.
Remember
those twins that Mark Zuckerberg screwed in the Facebook movie and maybe in
real life too? Well, this whole ridiculous
business came to our attention because the twins just floated an IPO that lets the
public “invest” in the bitcoin in some way.
If any of you got in, valued subscribers,
please cancel your MacDougal Post subscription immediately. We give up.
