Happy Spanks, Majority Whip, House Extramarital Relations and Intern Orientation Subcommittee, tossed his hat into the ring the other day and a perky campaign spokesbabe close to the Congressman cited his longstanding commitment to the annihilation of Middle Class spending power as reason why the Tea Party is expected to jump aboard the Spanks campaign bandwagon. This brings the number of presidential candidates who really should be committed to at least eight.
In a surprise twist to the ongoing 2012 race, Spanks, co-founder of the Konservative Khristian Koalition (KKK) went on to explain his sudden interest in the White House with a terse statement. “Thing is, God came down and actually did talk to me, and I really want to apologize to everybody for all those other times I said He did when He didn’t.”
Just as soon as the Supreme Court gives Happy the 2012 Florida recount, Spanks announced, the President Elect will declare martial law and haul everybody in Washington off to jail, invading Switzerland to find out just how much corporate payola “the real crooks in this country” have socked away. For his part, Congressman Spanks handed a check for $312 million over to the Sierra Club, explaining that he’d closed his Swiss bank accounts “kind of during that conversation with Him”, and, owing to Happy's House voting record “that’s where I, er We, decided the dough probably ought to go“.
This being the case, The MacDougal Post is pleased to announce that we are the first financial blog to endorse Happy Spanks for President of the United States of America, the fictional nature of his candidacy, and, for that matter, his persona, notwithstanding.
As far as our staff is concerned, the reality out there is way more nuts than this, and we no longer choose to live with it.
