Jimmy Bob Billy Jack’s was a small town furniture store run by five longtime friends and former high school teammates. Any way they tried to fit Sammy into the name sounded funny, so the quarterback suggested sticking “Sammy, Prop.” in at the bottom of the sign. Jimmy became their floor salesman, Bob the buyer, Billy handled heavy lifting, and Jack security, grounds and maintenance. Whatever else needed doing, Sammy got her done.
Like talking to the lawyer when the buddies agreed to go ahead and launch. The snake gave Sammy one voting share of stock in the Jimmy Bob Billy Jack’s Corporation, his pals one non-voting share apiece. Pulling guard Curdle Ublud being the snake in question, about here Jimmy, Bob, Billy, and Jack should’ve seen something coming, but didn’t.
Needless to say, Sammy got to be Chairman and CEO. He rented that empty space over to the Main Street Mall, Billy bought some furniture, Jack opened the store doors, and the five of them showed up for work.
Ten years later, The Kid rode into town. A newly minted junior accountant, the CPA firm hiring him put The Kid on the Jimmy Bob Billy Jack’s account. It was the only client he had, spending the rest of his time assisting one of the partners. Didn’t take long to figure out why.
The five old buddies made $24,000 a year each under an oral agreement calling for equal pay. Unbeknownst to the non-voting four, Sammy received $150,000 annually in dividends on voting stock, Curdle $50,000 for coming up with that idea. Non-voting shares did not accrue dividends.
There were two sets of corporate books, one kept at the store, the other inside The Kid’s bottom drawer. The job required him to conceal accounting entries defrauding Jimmy, Bob, Billy, and Jack, reconcile undisclosed banking records, and prepare Government forms reporting various parts of this unholy mess to the IRS and them as best he could.
The client was his because none of the partners would acknowledge the account existed. If an issue came up, he had to resolve it himself.
An accountant needed one year’s experience with a CPA firm to qualify for certification. On the 366th day The Kid gave notice. He left after 380 and went looking for honest work.
Today, when The Kid reads about Main Street investigating the financial evils on Wall Street, he wishes there was some way to get little Miss Innocent washing her own hands too.
