After a good mulling over, we reaffirm our conclusion that Blatant Umama is bent on destroying Capitalism with his condition that, for Federal Income Tax calculation, any debt ceiling settlement has to kill the Last In First Out (LIFO) method of accounting for business inventories and cost of goods sold. There is no other way to look at it. This Muslim-reared Black Supremacist Christian is not stupid, and has every mind in the nation at his disposal.
Politics in this country is conducted as if we, the electorate, are a clueless pack of blithering idiots. Good Umama figures he can sneak Bad Umama into the fray undetected, strap an accounting bomb to his chest, and blow our gun-toting redneck way of life to smithereens, all the while getting off on telling us math-disadvantaged numbskulls exactly how he’s planning to do it. To forthright men of numbers, that is the only conceivable explanation.
And make no mistake about it, like he actually said, the Charlatan-in Chief is more than willing to take his Presidency down with him. That’s what terrorists do, for hullabaloo sakes. Blow themselves up in the process.
You name a substitute for LIFO, and it will bloat corporate profits under the kind of supercharged inflationary pressure that deficit spending ultimately generates. In the worst of such times, anything but LIFO overstates taxable income to the point where management would have to start liquidating assets to foot Uncle Sam’s fraudulent bill.
One way or another, our CPA’s cherished profession would restate earnings so that CEO’s, investors, creditors, and whatnots could grasp the real picture, but the prospect of jail would bar his guys from reporting appropriate results to Umama’s IRS pit bulls.
Just as corporate elites have deployed numbers to fleece your savings with “stock options” that are no such thing, their paid-for political stooge has now turned on the hand that feeds him, seizing a rare opportunity to digitize the disembowelment of company financials by taxing profits that simply do not exist.
This does not sit well with the staff at your MacDougal Post. Of particular concern is the extent to which the IRS hired and promoted Blacks under Affirmative Action while we were actually working there. Snuck them into line supervisory positions from administrative functions and other offices because they were preposterously unqualified to compete for the jobs they got silver spooned into. Is there a cadre of sneaky Muslim-reared Black Supremacist Christians in place at the Agency now to comprise a loyal death squad, effortlessly razing Capitalism for good?
Maybe that’s what Affirmative Action was all about in the first place. Not just making you work for Ghetto trash. Setting them up to destroy the entire White culture.
Racists who get a free pass on their own racism and jump all over anybody who notices.
In our opinion, Mitch McConnell has to be recognized as a national hero for refusing to do any kind of business at all with an accounting terrorist. Post readers should be able to at least appreciate why the Great Republican’s gotta not do what he’s gotta not do, even those of you up in the Northeast Corridor who’ve stopped reading today's blog by now.
As a subscriber noted the other day, what used to be, to us anyway, Far Right rantings about Umama’s attack on Whitey, has morphed into a centrist issue with this LIFO thing strapped to Blatant’s budgetary vest.
Paul Revere used numbers to tell a people whether the enemy was coming by land or by sea. Today our nation is under attack by the numbers themselves, and you can forget about land or sea. As The MacDougal Post has just warned you, this time they‘re getting detonated by an accounting terrorist from inside the dadblanged Oval Office.
July 15, 2011
July 13, 2011
LIFO
Inflation is coming, and your company accounts for its inventory under the Last In First Out (LIFO) method. Lets say prices double between 2012 and 2013, and you sell the same number of units in both years, 1 million thingies. You get $10 per thingie in 2012 and $20 in 2013, and buy them at wholesale for $8 in 2012 and $18 the next year. You keep a large inventory, more thingies than you sell in a year.
Under LIFO, your 2013 profit is $2 million, or ($20-18) x 1 million units. Current costs are matched against current sales prices.
According to this morning’s New York Times, Blatant Umama wants to eliminate LIFO. Under the most widely used alternative method, First in First Out (FIFO), old costs get matched against current sales prices, and your 2013 profit would be recorded as $12 million, or ($20-8) x 1 million units.
The taxes on this miscalculation would put you out of business.
Blatant, the Times tells us, says LIFO is arcane. That is a flat out lie. LIFO is the only way my profession can produce books that make sense out of what he and his ilk are doing to this politically ravaged nation.
The man is proposing the destruction of gamed market Capitalism itself. Hey, it's gamed, but it's the only Capitalism we've got. The MacDougal Post calls for his immediate impeachment.
Go over the numbers again. There isn’t a minute to lose.
Under LIFO, your 2013 profit is $2 million, or ($20-18) x 1 million units. Current costs are matched against current sales prices.
According to this morning’s New York Times, Blatant Umama wants to eliminate LIFO. Under the most widely used alternative method, First in First Out (FIFO), old costs get matched against current sales prices, and your 2013 profit would be recorded as $12 million, or ($20-8) x 1 million units.
The taxes on this miscalculation would put you out of business.
Blatant, the Times tells us, says LIFO is arcane. That is a flat out lie. LIFO is the only way my profession can produce books that make sense out of what he and his ilk are doing to this politically ravaged nation.
The man is proposing the destruction of gamed market Capitalism itself. Hey, it's gamed, but it's the only Capitalism we've got. The MacDougal Post calls for his immediate impeachment.
Go over the numbers again. There isn’t a minute to lose.
July 12, 2011
Uno Mas
A lot of smart baseball played here comes out of the Dominican Republic, and last night’s Home Run Derby proved to be no exception. Credit that to the winner's father.
Jose Cano, former Astro’s pitcher, threw batting practice (BP) to son Robinson Cano, named after Jackie Robinson, as if the rest of this story wasn’t cool enough already. You couldn’t help concluding that Jose staged this show.
The field of eight hitters got whittled down to four so pathetically fast Chris Berman and them danced around questioning why the rest even got picked. The derby is not something anyone practices for. These guys spend their lives trying not to pop up. Here you want to. It’s a whole other thing.
We suspect contestants would do a lot better laying off the first ten strikes they want to swing at, giving the pitcher time to settle in. A few inches here and there makes all the difference in the world in BP, and we’d just like to see what would happen if the hurlers got in a couple dozen good real-time warm-up tosses.
The remaining field of four had been narrowed to two way before the gates even opened once David Ortiz and Prince Fielder decided they were going to drop down in the strike zone, calling for low pitches. The closer a pitch is to your eyes, the easier it is to hit the thing dead center. Go after balls at thigh level, and you’re telling the other all-star line drive hitters that either you’re so much better than them you swing at anything or you need a miracle to win. Sometimes peers have to be excused for assuming the latter. This time that was not the case.
The upward bat angle coming into low strikes makes the ball go very high - moon shots as Chris Berman said - but when the all-stars oohed and ahhed, that wasn’t about the height. It was because these two morons managed to hit the ball at all. Jose Cano threw to Ortiz too. Probably didn’t said a word about location. Was glad to help Big Popi fall flat on his foolish face.
The Ortiz/Fielder debacle left Adrian Gonzalez v. Robinson Cano, only because both were ordering fat high-inside strikes, the logical place to work from. They’re close to your eyes, and your arms align best high. The ball even banks off the bat for you here, rebounding more of its incoming speed outward.
Jose almost never missed. Manny Acta, Gonzo’s BP pitcher, left the ball out over the plate enough to mess with Adrian’s mind. You pull high-inside, and Gonzo found himself taking some shots into the opposite field with an inside-out swing.
That’s as discombobulating as it sounds. Robbie got to use the same stroke most every time, and could lengthen it, looking masterful. Two-stroke Gonzalez, though actually playing better ball, came off looking like a clown by comparison.
Jose won. Manny lost.
And Major League Baseball awarded Jose’s trophy to Jose's kid. Pitcher won this one, not slugger. Jose threw great BP, and really bore down. Didn’t crack a smile all contest long. When Robbie tied Gonzo at the end, Dad ran out from behind the screen to give him a great big hug.
“Uno mas,” Jose ordered, sticking an index finger in the air. The kid nodded, then popped one more into the seats, and the title was his. Jose’s, we mean.
Because it truly, truly was. Jose Cano pulled this win off like the championship father he obviously is.
Expect Baseball Czar Bud Selig to ban dads from participating in Home Run Derbies after the winter meetings.
Jose Cano, former Astro’s pitcher, threw batting practice (BP) to son Robinson Cano, named after Jackie Robinson, as if the rest of this story wasn’t cool enough already. You couldn’t help concluding that Jose staged this show.
The field of eight hitters got whittled down to four so pathetically fast Chris Berman and them danced around questioning why the rest even got picked. The derby is not something anyone practices for. These guys spend their lives trying not to pop up. Here you want to. It’s a whole other thing.
We suspect contestants would do a lot better laying off the first ten strikes they want to swing at, giving the pitcher time to settle in. A few inches here and there makes all the difference in the world in BP, and we’d just like to see what would happen if the hurlers got in a couple dozen good real-time warm-up tosses.
The remaining field of four had been narrowed to two way before the gates even opened once David Ortiz and Prince Fielder decided they were going to drop down in the strike zone, calling for low pitches. The closer a pitch is to your eyes, the easier it is to hit the thing dead center. Go after balls at thigh level, and you’re telling the other all-star line drive hitters that either you’re so much better than them you swing at anything or you need a miracle to win. Sometimes peers have to be excused for assuming the latter. This time that was not the case.
The upward bat angle coming into low strikes makes the ball go very high - moon shots as Chris Berman said - but when the all-stars oohed and ahhed, that wasn’t about the height. It was because these two morons managed to hit the ball at all. Jose Cano threw to Ortiz too. Probably didn’t said a word about location. Was glad to help Big Popi fall flat on his foolish face.
The Ortiz/Fielder debacle left Adrian Gonzalez v. Robinson Cano, only because both were ordering fat high-inside strikes, the logical place to work from. They’re close to your eyes, and your arms align best high. The ball even banks off the bat for you here, rebounding more of its incoming speed outward.
Jose almost never missed. Manny Acta, Gonzo’s BP pitcher, left the ball out over the plate enough to mess with Adrian’s mind. You pull high-inside, and Gonzo found himself taking some shots into the opposite field with an inside-out swing.
That’s as discombobulating as it sounds. Robbie got to use the same stroke most every time, and could lengthen it, looking masterful. Two-stroke Gonzalez, though actually playing better ball, came off looking like a clown by comparison.
Jose won. Manny lost.
And Major League Baseball awarded Jose’s trophy to Jose's kid. Pitcher won this one, not slugger. Jose threw great BP, and really bore down. Didn’t crack a smile all contest long. When Robbie tied Gonzo at the end, Dad ran out from behind the screen to give him a great big hug.
“Uno mas,” Jose ordered, sticking an index finger in the air. The kid nodded, then popped one more into the seats, and the title was his. Jose’s, we mean.
Because it truly, truly was. Jose Cano pulled this win off like the championship father he obviously is.
Expect Baseball Czar Bud Selig to ban dads from participating in Home Run Derbies after the winter meetings.
July 10, 2011
The Presidency
Gird yourself for the worst. Blatant Umama hasn’t reached a compromise on squat since he sat in the front of the bus. Why should we look for one now?
Maybe it’s living in the Deep South, but this longstanding Congressional Republican refusal to govern has always begged another question, and now that they’re hell bent on destroying your credit standing, you all might want to ask it under your breath like everyone here does.
Is John Boehner and the pack of them denying this guy the ability to execute the duties of his office because he’s Black? Excuse us for believing that a settlement could be reached if Umama just went away and let Joe Biden step in to take the credit, but Boehner‘s own words head our thoughts off in that likely direction.
It looks for all the world like House Republicans have drawn a line in the political sand, telling the country Democrats went too far this time stuffing their anti-White male Affirmative Action snake oil down our throats. From the get-go, people driven to speak publicly about it felt that the Black Supremacist Church thing was way more than a step too far. Maybe theirs has been the voice of Middle America all along.
If so, then the Liberal press has been emasculated on this one. It’s politically incorrect for them to even raise the Black Presidency issue, let alone deal with it. And the Conservative isn't going to raise it aloud for them.
Racial stuff has always been pursued under wraps. To anyone who lived here seventy years ago, what’s not going on in the National Conversation today, coupled with what’s not going on in these House/Executive Branch non-compromises smells awful familiar. Don’t expect the good ole boys to tell you what they’re up to. They won’t. Never have, never will. You've got to work it out for yourself.
Whatever, if enough Americans flat out refuse to accept a Muslim-reared Black Supremacist as their President, then clearly we shouldn’t have one. Our blogger wonders how many Independents will opt to dump Umama rather than continue down this outrageous self-destructive path, even though it’s a path made Umama's by John Boehner’s choosing.
Screw the moral high road. We’ve got a train wreck on our hands. That’s what Boehner and the pack of them are telling us here at your MacDougal Post as we hunker down tight, getting ready to live through it.
And we’re still voting against everybody in 2012. Every-freaking-body, Black, White, and Mulatto, or whatever they‘re supposed to be called these days, if anything.
As the working force shifted from maybe forty-something percent unpaid female homemakers raising kids in the 1940’s to maybe forty-something percent of all kinds un/underemployed now, what is the percentage of young White males who've lost their jobs to Blacks and females through Affirmative Action? Is it forty-something yet? Has the shift been made complete?
Those jobs were stolen from somebody by a political act. Mathematically, it had to be White males. There’s nobody else left. Conservatives always knew that. Liberals have always been pussy-whipped into denial. Maybe this is how that issue moves onto center stage too.
Ever-present, unspoken, and dripping with the blood of families long since rent asunder by egregious Liberal inhumanity to their fellow White male man.
Maybe it’s living in the Deep South, but this longstanding Congressional Republican refusal to govern has always begged another question, and now that they’re hell bent on destroying your credit standing, you all might want to ask it under your breath like everyone here does.
Is John Boehner and the pack of them denying this guy the ability to execute the duties of his office because he’s Black? Excuse us for believing that a settlement could be reached if Umama just went away and let Joe Biden step in to take the credit, but Boehner‘s own words head our thoughts off in that likely direction.
It looks for all the world like House Republicans have drawn a line in the political sand, telling the country Democrats went too far this time stuffing their anti-White male Affirmative Action snake oil down our throats. From the get-go, people driven to speak publicly about it felt that the Black Supremacist Church thing was way more than a step too far. Maybe theirs has been the voice of Middle America all along.
If so, then the Liberal press has been emasculated on this one. It’s politically incorrect for them to even raise the Black Presidency issue, let alone deal with it. And the Conservative isn't going to raise it aloud for them.
Racial stuff has always been pursued under wraps. To anyone who lived here seventy years ago, what’s not going on in the National Conversation today, coupled with what’s not going on in these House/Executive Branch non-compromises smells awful familiar. Don’t expect the good ole boys to tell you what they’re up to. They won’t. Never have, never will. You've got to work it out for yourself.
Whatever, if enough Americans flat out refuse to accept a Muslim-reared Black Supremacist as their President, then clearly we shouldn’t have one. Our blogger wonders how many Independents will opt to dump Umama rather than continue down this outrageous self-destructive path, even though it’s a path made Umama's by John Boehner’s choosing.
Screw the moral high road. We’ve got a train wreck on our hands. That’s what Boehner and the pack of them are telling us here at your MacDougal Post as we hunker down tight, getting ready to live through it.
And we’re still voting against everybody in 2012. Every-freaking-body, Black, White, and Mulatto, or whatever they‘re supposed to be called these days, if anything.
As the working force shifted from maybe forty-something percent unpaid female homemakers raising kids in the 1940’s to maybe forty-something percent of all kinds un/underemployed now, what is the percentage of young White males who've lost their jobs to Blacks and females through Affirmative Action? Is it forty-something yet? Has the shift been made complete?
Those jobs were stolen from somebody by a political act. Mathematically, it had to be White males. There’s nobody else left. Conservatives always knew that. Liberals have always been pussy-whipped into denial. Maybe this is how that issue moves onto center stage too.
Ever-present, unspoken, and dripping with the blood of families long since rent asunder by egregious Liberal inhumanity to their fellow White male man.
July 9, 2011
Home Run Derby
The 2011 Some Stupid Insurance Company Home Run Derby with Chris Berman will be telecast on ESPN at 8 PM Eastern Monday night. It’s required viewing for MacDougal Post fathers who play ball with their kids.
Your kid doesn’t want a dad on the diamond. He’s already got one of those back at the house. What your kid needs on the diamond is a real batting practice (BP) pitcher. One who puts the ball in his wheelhouse on every toss.
WHEELHOUSE on EVERY toss. That’s way beyond merely throwing strikes, Pops.
So forget the home runs at the 2011 Some Stupid Insurance Company Home Run Derby with Chris Berman on ESPN. Let the kid watch those. You’re taking in the show to see how BP pitching is thrown.
All kids are great hitters, if we give them what they need. And that includes great BP pitching.
If he’s less than awesome with the bat, it’s on you, not him. Superstardom at the plate has everything to do with what a kid’s BP pitcher makes him practice on. Keep putting it, as they say, there, and he’ll eventually work out how to line it back.
Here at the Post we usually end up viewing to see whether or not the winners have better pitching. Since everybody brings his own, the competition seems inherently unfair. If someone's old high school coach freezes up, you'd think that would have to cost his batter any chance of winning. And one pitcher having a really great day would have to make some kind of a difference. Plus we've thrown enough BP to identify with these guys. The real story has to be about them pitching in front of tens of thousands of screaming spectators. Should a familiar baseball name head out to the screen, we'll get awfully suspicious.
(Note: Sometimes these derby sluggers won't swing until they're ready, even when it's there, and that's part of what every hitter has to be doing too. Get over it now. Some day the kid will start pulling this shinola on you.)
Your kid doesn’t want a dad on the diamond. He’s already got one of those back at the house. What your kid needs on the diamond is a real batting practice (BP) pitcher. One who puts the ball in his wheelhouse on every toss.
WHEELHOUSE on EVERY toss. That’s way beyond merely throwing strikes, Pops.
So forget the home runs at the 2011 Some Stupid Insurance Company Home Run Derby with Chris Berman on ESPN. Let the kid watch those. You’re taking in the show to see how BP pitching is thrown.
All kids are great hitters, if we give them what they need. And that includes great BP pitching.
If he’s less than awesome with the bat, it’s on you, not him. Superstardom at the plate has everything to do with what a kid’s BP pitcher makes him practice on. Keep putting it, as they say, there, and he’ll eventually work out how to line it back.
Here at the Post we usually end up viewing to see whether or not the winners have better pitching. Since everybody brings his own, the competition seems inherently unfair. If someone's old high school coach freezes up, you'd think that would have to cost his batter any chance of winning. And one pitcher having a really great day would have to make some kind of a difference. Plus we've thrown enough BP to identify with these guys. The real story has to be about them pitching in front of tens of thousands of screaming spectators. Should a familiar baseball name head out to the screen, we'll get awfully suspicious.
(Note: Sometimes these derby sluggers won't swing until they're ready, even when it's there, and that's part of what every hitter has to be doing too. Get over it now. Some day the kid will start pulling this shinola on you.)
July 7, 2011
Jobs
China steals all the modern Western technology it can lure over there by partnering with foreigners, then turns around and competes against its foreign partnerships with Chinese enterprises sporting the stolen technology, its domestic provinces soon limiting areas of business done by foreign partnerships as soon as they spot any area of business done by foreign partnerships having the same technology as Chinese enterprises. After a decade of this wonton dupe and having lost all their previous whiz-bang gizmos to the inscrutable little bastard$, American companies sound like they've had enough.
Finally.
Based on a recent Reuters article, however, some American enterprises pulling out of that country today would be expected to return 83% of their previously outsourced manufacturing jobs to US robots, and only the remaining 17% to human workers.
This leaves a huge pool of our formerly employed still jobless. How are we ever going to put them back to work under these alarming new automated conditions?
Fortunately for the country, Blatant Umama's job creation skills, honed as a Chicago Ghetto activist, or whatever he was, coupled with the GOP's spellbinding success at deploying war and tax cuts to curtail municipal services, particularly in the area of state and local law enforcement, are expected to drive robust growth in selected sectors of the nation's economy during the second half of 2011.
Specifically, MacDougal Post studies indicate that new hires in the following occupations will form the centerpiece of our long-awaited economic recovery:
Drug Dealer Bank Robber Skyjacker
Drug Pusher Porn Star Street Punk
Drug Mule Pickpocket Money Launderer
Drug Kingpin Grifter Strangler
Pimp Arsonist Embezzler
Street Hustler Hijacker Crime Lord
CEO Armed Robber Purse Snatcher
Serial Killer Jewel Thief Confidence Man
CFO Cat Burglar Safecracker
Axe Murderer Investment Banker Pirate
Hit Man Gunman Mortgage Banker
Divorce Lawyer Kidnapper Identity Thief
War Criminal Dictator Commodity Trader
Short-Seller Smuggler Bully
Congressman Swindler Counterfeiter
Consigliore Slasher Forger
Extortionist Mugger Shoplifter
Fence Plagiarist Bushwhacker
Prowler Gun Runner Hooligan
Chiseler Mob Soldier Gangster
Impostor Bandit Gangsta
Racketeer Carjacker Stripper
Capo CPA Pole Dancer
Hacker Gang Banger Floozy
Landlord Card Shark Hooker
Smuggler Tax Cheat DMV Clerk
Finally.
Based on a recent Reuters article, however, some American enterprises pulling out of that country today would be expected to return 83% of their previously outsourced manufacturing jobs to US robots, and only the remaining 17% to human workers.
This leaves a huge pool of our formerly employed still jobless. How are we ever going to put them back to work under these alarming new automated conditions?
Fortunately for the country, Blatant Umama's job creation skills, honed as a Chicago Ghetto activist, or whatever he was, coupled with the GOP's spellbinding success at deploying war and tax cuts to curtail municipal services, particularly in the area of state and local law enforcement, are expected to drive robust growth in selected sectors of the nation's economy during the second half of 2011.
Specifically, MacDougal Post studies indicate that new hires in the following occupations will form the centerpiece of our long-awaited economic recovery:
Drug Dealer Bank Robber Skyjacker
Drug Pusher Porn Star Street Punk
Drug Mule Pickpocket Money Launderer
Drug Kingpin Grifter Strangler
Pimp Arsonist Embezzler
Street Hustler Hijacker Crime Lord
CEO Armed Robber Purse Snatcher
Serial Killer Jewel Thief Confidence Man
CFO Cat Burglar Safecracker
Axe Murderer Investment Banker Pirate
Hit Man Gunman Mortgage Banker
Divorce Lawyer Kidnapper Identity Thief
War Criminal Dictator Commodity Trader
Short-Seller Smuggler Bully
Congressman Swindler Counterfeiter
Consigliore Slasher Forger
Extortionist Mugger Shoplifter
Fence Plagiarist Bushwhacker
Prowler Gun Runner Hooligan
Chiseler Mob Soldier Gangster
Impostor Bandit Gangsta
Racketeer Carjacker Stripper
Capo CPA Pole Dancer
Hacker Gang Banger Floozy
Landlord Card Shark Hooker
Smuggler Tax Cheat DMV Clerk
July 1, 2011
Writing on the Wall?
As Minnesota's state government shut down at midnight this morning, the conservative Coalition Regarding Apocalyptic Politics (CRAP) rushed to offer a compromise to settle the budget gridlock between Minnehaha's Democratic governor and Republican-controlled legislature.
"Why don't we just go ahead and kill poor people?" Pastor Sven proposed in a press conference at his weapons stockpile under the Holy Mother of God Church basement in Harbinger Falls before morning bingo. "Then the Governor won't need any money, and we won't have to pay taxes at all."
"It's the reactionary thing to do."
State and local authorities said they'd pick the Republican sonofab#tch up for questioning, but state and local authorities don't have gas money right now.
"Why don't we just go ahead and kill poor people?" Pastor Sven proposed in a press conference at his weapons stockpile under the Holy Mother of God Church basement in Harbinger Falls before morning bingo. "Then the Governor won't need any money, and we won't have to pay taxes at all."
"It's the reactionary thing to do."
State and local authorities said they'd pick the Republican sonofab#tch up for questioning, but state and local authorities don't have gas money right now.
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