The
difference between managing your typical too-big-to-fail bank and running a casino is not at all what
you’d think it would be. The casino is
founded on a sure thing, probability theory, and never loses - over the long
haul anyway - as long as there are enough wagers taking place to satisfy the
“large number of occurrences” condition underlying that important branch of
mathematics. Bankers, on the other hand,
are like the guys lurking around the craps table. They win some and lose some, but do come up
short now and again, and can drop enough to wipe out their entire bankroll when Lady Luck drops the hammer on them real good.
As any high roller will tell
you, success at gambling is all in the cash management.
That’s where yesterday’s
headline comes in. Financial regulators
in Washington and Basel are working hard to increase the stash our crap
shooters are required to bring to the tables, and, more importantly, trying to figure
out just what the dickens the game is they’re now playing.
As subscribers know, Wall
Street hires the dumbest people in the world, and the last batch of nincompoops created
financial weapons of mass destruction, the nature of which can never be
understood because, as everyone outside of Government can see, the dumbest people in the world have no idea what they’re doing.
Financial regulators across
the globe have been trying to disassemble what, owing to a total lack of
understanding about the true nature of these moronic contracts, financial
“professionals” have come to refer to as “derivatives”, but financial
regulators across the globe have had no reported success at that to date. As a result, financial regulators across the
globe have turned to increasing bank capital requirements as a way of fooling themselves into thinking everything's going to be all right in the Post Financial Apocalyptic Era.
We see Basel wants the
institutional gamblers to keep a bankroll of 10.5% at the derivatives tables,
and Washington wants 5%.
The MacDougal Post calls for
waterboarding the entire staff of the Federal Reserve Bank until they tell us
what’s going on with that, and asks subscribers to join our Occupy Your Bank’s
Vault movement and head to your banking institution immediately to make sure
your safe deposit box is still there.
Sons of $!#&%$s are
screw!#$ with everything you’ve got.
