To help our valued subscribers
remember what the holiday season is all about, MacDougal again offers his
favorite Christmas carol, with an additional link for Lizards fans:
December 2, 2013
Urgent Safety Bulletin - Amazon Aerial Attack
News that Amazon is testing drone aircraft to deliver orders from their warehouses to your door (within half an hour after you click on the submit order thingie!) sent our staff scurrying to get a handle on probable traffic patterns. If the same kinds of computer geek whiz kids who developed MacDougal's first PC came up with this loony project, and are now seated at flight panels in undisclosed remote underground locations across rural America, Irving expects at least three crashes per flight, probably on the way to each house on every flight they attempt, a rate forecast to continue through the early stages of beta development, if not longer.
And for God’s sake, stay away from the door. Access your home through a back window or something until we find out more about this. Much more.
As of now nobody here knows whether to advise subscribers to board up their windows with plywood sheets, kevlar, or heavy armored plates. But keep reading our posts. We’ll try to stay on top if this thing.
Though nobody has told us where testing is taking place, one can assume that Amazon computer geek whiz kid drone flight control operations will be located within twenty minutes of a Starbucks. If you find out which one, move there. It will become the safest place on Earth. Subscribers living in states where Amazon warehouses are, or will soon be, located are advised to remain indoors until further notice. These are: Arizona, California, Delaware, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maryland, New Jersey, Nevada, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, and Washington. If you have to drive through one of these potential disaster zones, don’t. Go around them.
Anyone thinking of traveling to countries that have such facilities should visit someplace else. These are Canada (Ontario and British Columbia), United Kingdom, France, Germany, Netherlands. Italy, Slovakia, Spain, Japan, China, and India.
If you have to head outside to the mailbox or something, KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE SKIES and listen for engines. If you hear any kind of approaching noise overhead, any at all, RUN BACK INSIDE immediately. We don’t know if it’s just drones targeting our doors we have to worry about, or if unmanned aircraft will be dropping packages on our heads too. Remember, these are computer geek whiz kids we’re talking about. Please understand, when you order anything from Amazon at this point, not only could drones be placing your door in their aerial crosshairs, but your stupid item that you could just drive out to Wal-Mart and pick up yourselves, may be putting the entire neighborhood at risk.
If anyone knows when and where the first trial drone package attacks are scheduled to launch, please email MacDougal about it as soon as you’ve secured your own property and are safely hunkered down.
And for God’s sake, stay away from the door. Access your home through a back window or something until we find out more about this. Much more.
As of now nobody here knows whether to advise subscribers to board up their windows with plywood sheets, kevlar, or heavy armored plates. But keep reading our posts. We’ll try to stay on top if this thing.
Though nobody has told us where testing is taking place, one can assume that Amazon computer geek whiz kid drone flight control operations will be located within twenty minutes of a Starbucks. If you find out which one, move there. It will become the safest place on Earth. Subscribers living in states where Amazon warehouses are, or will soon be, located are advised to remain indoors until further notice. These are: Arizona, California, Delaware, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maryland, New Jersey, Nevada, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, and Washington. If you have to drive through one of these potential disaster zones, don’t. Go around them.
Anyone thinking of traveling to countries that have such facilities should visit someplace else. These are Canada (Ontario and British Columbia), United Kingdom, France, Germany, Netherlands. Italy, Slovakia, Spain, Japan, China, and India.
If you have to head outside to the mailbox or something, KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE SKIES and listen for engines. If you hear any kind of approaching noise overhead, any at all, RUN BACK INSIDE immediately. We don’t know if it’s just drones targeting our doors we have to worry about, or if unmanned aircraft will be dropping packages on our heads too. Remember, these are computer geek whiz kids we’re talking about. Please understand, when you order anything from Amazon at this point, not only could drones be placing your door in their aerial crosshairs, but your stupid item that you could just drive out to Wal-Mart and pick up yourselves, may be putting the entire neighborhood at risk.
If anyone knows when and where the first trial drone package attacks are scheduled to launch, please email MacDougal about it as soon as you’ve secured your own property and are safely hunkered down.
December 1, 2013
SEC Hotshots Don’t Ride to the Rescue Once Again
“Fiduciary capacity” is an ethical standard of trust imposed
by law on one who holds another’s money for investment, basically requiring said
holder to act prudently, meaning, in Wall Street terms anyway, in the sucker’s
interest instead of your own.
Laughably,
the Securities and Excuses Commission (SEC) has always exempted Crime Family
goons calling themselves “stockbrokers” from this legal burden. No matter how they screw you, or how badly,
those thugs CANNOT BE SUED FOR BREACH OF FIDUCIARY CAPACITY like employees in,
say, a bank trust department would - for doing the same f#$&!ng thing,
whatever it may be.
Recently,
in another passive action appropriately ignored in the media, some advisory
panel has proposed that our hotshots at the SEC start doing the right
thing. Since that hasn’t happened in the
eight decades or so since the worthless, lollygagging, good-for-nothing agency
was stuffed down our perpetually victimized financial gizzards, it seems
prudent to assume this ain’t going down any time soon.
Here’s the one piece we could find
about this non-development anyway. We
keep our subscribers informed about nothing when nothing’s happening too.
November 30, 2013
November 27, 2013
Happy Thanksgiving
Lord, grant us the wisdom to dwell on the good things in life all this day long....
November 22, 2013
Hoover Institution Senior Fellow and Chair Offers Focus
Another fine piece brought to our attention by a valued subscriber:
Diversity and Inclusion
After more
than a half century of egregious abuse through nothing less than mob rule
engineered in the media by racist/feminist thugs, the elderly White male
can find some comfort in the link below, a recent effort by Fox News to
acknowledge our suffering. Our collective journey
has been frought with peril in a world where “more qualified and meritorious
people and vendors are passed over for jobs, promotions, and business (not to
mention college admissions) in favor of a protected class”, turning “diversity”
into vicious racial/gender discrimination.
Keep it up, Fox. Perhaps some day the White male will be afforded a fair chance at his rightful place in the American Dream.
Keep it up, Fox. Perhaps some day the White male will be afforded a fair chance at his rightful place in the American Dream.
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