Exodus 2

            Following that devastating 9 Lewinskies - 0 WMDs rout, we got 4 years of no Hope and Change, and as 15% Romney and the 2 Cadillacs Missus are turning onto Pennsylvania Avenue and heading toward the office overseeing a pathetically corrupt and disfunctional Securities & Excuses Commission, it’s starting to look more and more like the fleeced and pickpocketed of this plundered nation will never get to find out what hedge fund managers really do for a living.

            That, or 1,460 more days of changeless hopelessness looms starkly on the intermediate term horizon.

            Your MacDougal Post reiterates our strongest recommendation that small investors flee North – and as soon as possible.  We have no idea where the Canadian Dollar is going, but prospects there can’t possibly be as dire as they appear with ours.  Your exodus decision rests on a single set of numbers, and we’re passing the latest along for our subscribers’ consideration.

            Coldwater, ON

               temperature -5 with a few flurries  

            White Horse, YT

               temperature -6 with some flurries

            Salmon Arm, BC

               temperature -7 with a lot of flurries

            Cow Head, NL

               temperature -12 with morning flurries

            Moose Jaw, SK

               temperature -13 with afternoon flurries

            Yellowknife, NT

               temperature -17 with evening flurries

            Destruction Bay, YT

               temperature -18 with light flurries

            Savage Harbor, PE

               temperature -19 with moderate flurries

            Gander, NL

               temperature -21 with heavy flurries

            Old Squaw Islands, NU

               temperature -54 (iced-in through June)

Thieves in the White House?

            In the years immediately prior to the Financial Apocalypse, hedge fund operatives lobbied high accounting muckety-mucks into ordering our nation’s army of CPA’s to misrepresent the financial position of corporations holding paper assets.  Suddenly – and probably for the only time since double entry bookkeeping was invented - securities traded in public markets had to be valued at whatever prices Wall Street Crime Family traders bashed them down to.  The reasons why this change constituted criminal fraud are abundantly clear to everyone except our hotshots at the Securities and Excuses Commission, particularly as stock prices in the financial sector were crushed in 2008-09 by the very racketeers who schemed to force the accounting change on us, and no one has ever been charged with anything.  The media, paid with advertising revenues and whatever to keep silent on such matters, continues to keep silent on such matters.

            Now, rumors are circulating that two hedge fund goons may be running for President soon.  If you’re a Republican who suffered catastrophic losses in financials during the Apocalypse - or who receives benefits from pension funds that did - and are thinking about voting along party lines if your tormentors actually get the nomination, then YOU are the problem in this country, not them.

            Remember, The Post endorses Jesus Christ to head the GOP ticket this go-around, and not just because they keep talking about Him so much.  With the Mayan Calendar ending this December, we figure He’s actually at least scheduled to show up for that End of Days gig of His.

            (For any partisan muttonheads reading this, note that our editors endorse O.J. Simpson as the Donkey nominee.  Most Blacks, Latinos, and Nationalized Illegal Aliens figure O.J. really did kill two White people, which should give the former NFL star all the votes there, and you’d think an armed sports memorabilia thief would be expected to work closely with Conservatives in removing handgun controls everywhere, insuring bipartisan governance on something for a change.  Besides, who would you rather have in office?  Some creepy lawyer type operating behind your back, or a brazen thug busting into the room with a gang of bullies who're into crime because they like showing their muscles off out in public.)

Why We Invest

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OObcjxRQOGA&feature=related

The Frontrunner

           If Christian eschatology teaches us anything, it’s that these Republican primaries may have nothing to do with The Rapture, though a few more Sarah Palin appearances could change everything there.  Anyway, with the Mayan calendar ending in December, our nation could be electing the Antichrist this November.  That being the case, you’d think the hedge fund manager has the best shot.

           Apocalyptically speaking, Mitt's way out in front.  Clearly, anyone collecting carried interest while sitting in the White House, and paying that 15% tax rate on it, stands the best chance of fulfilling Biblical prophecy during the upcoming End of Days.

A Gentle Reminder

            "Never forget how God smiles on old men.  If the pack of them are giving you enough sh!t, that’s what He created generation-skipping heirs for."

           -    Rancid Pizzdorf, renowned marriage counselor and best-selling author of Pizzdorf's Query

Not Again

           In 1913, Congress created the Federal Reserve System (Fed) with the dual mandate of maintaining stable prices and moderate long term interest rates.  Whenever prospects for future inflation heat up, meaning these two objectives will not be met, speculators flee into gold and the like, and at current prices, holders of precious metals and their sundry derivatives appear to be betting that Fed employees will fail miserably at their job.

           The other day, it was reported that one of those employees, the President of the Dallas Fed, a former banker, stockbroker, and hedge fund manager, owns $1 million worth of gold and over $50,000 each in platinum and uranium.

           The spectacle of sub-prime mortgage bankers shorting worthless products they were dumping on clients is still fresh in our minds, and here's another financial type taking the counter-party side to the outcome he's supposed to be delivering.  Anybody with a long position in any fixed-income security denominated in the U.S. Dollar has a right to know what's going on here.

           Yesterday, Fed Charlatan, Ben Bananas, calmly reassured Congress that inflation will be contained over what, we guess, he thinks is the controllable future.  If so, then why is His Man in Dallas betting against anyone buying into that?

           Betting against America.

           Could it be that Ben Bananas and those sovereign goons over in China are controllong that controllable future by rigging the Treasury bond market?  As happened for a few years before the Global Financial Apocalypse, is Dallas Man just waiting around for this rigged-pricing scheme to unravel, all that's needed to spark the catastrophic bond market crash that will reward Mister Dallas so inappropriately?